


Rain Under Your Skin

by scrawlingcomet



Category: Final Fantasy XV, Kingsglaive, Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: ....do i dare call this a slowburn?, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood, M/M, Mutual Pining, Vomit, a fix it i guess, is that like fake dating though? just the tiniest pinch?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-03-05 14:59:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13390299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrawlingcomet/pseuds/scrawlingcomet
Summary: Pelna Khara is the type to move mountains with a gentle nudge, and Nyx more than admires him for that.





	1. In those eyes...

 

 _‘You are brave, so brave. And you only make me want to be braver.’_ That’s what Nyx thinks to himself watching the softness of Pelna turn sharp and frigid warping him faster than Nyx’s eyes can follow. It only ever happens in an instant, and then it is over when shields shatter and blood is spilt, and the world is calm in the way a storm used to leave Galahd. Tossed and turned over, but there is peace and contentment in knowing it is over and getting to stand in the aftermath remembering what it is to be alive.

 

Pelna is soft most of the time, in this unyielding hopeful persistent way that makes fighting seem petty, and offering a hand feels like the final blow, in the way kindness is unconditional, and powerful in the most quiet way. And it really makes Nyx want to believe heroes are real, and that he could hope to be one.

 

Nyx tries not to breathe too hard or too fast, his bleeding side pinning him to the ground and wracking his body. It’s hard not to, every time he thinks to stop himself it just picks up. The adrenaline just seems to make him bleed faster, and the sheer awe in watching his fellow Glaive leaves him breathless.

 

Then Pelna is beside him pressing his hand to his side over his to help stop the bleeding. Pelna should’ve just ran when they heard the telltale bubbling of a Red Giant rising up after that Iron Giant sunk down into the soil screaming and melting into ooze. Should’ve ran knowing it was just two against that monster, two tired battered Glaives with Nyx already sliced open from the first. But he didn’t, because why would Pelna ever leave anyone he could help behind?

 

His eyebrows rise in worry but he can’t help but smile, they’re still alive. “The haven spot should be close now, we’ll make it.”

 

Nyx smiles, because Pelna doesn’t lie, not unless he needs to. They will make it.

 

The pain is enough that he’s nearing numb from his waist down, so he doesn’t have to try too hard to suppress his scream when Pelna helps him to stand. Each step forward is carful, but as hurried as it can be, because the night is still dangerous. It’s the biggest relief when the glowing runes of haven come into view.

 

Nyx manages to convince Pelna that no, warping that last twenty feet will not rip his side the rest of the way open. He laughs seeing Pelna’s wide-eyed relief that Nyx comes out the warp in one piece, it’s worth the pain that doubles him over.

______

 

A potion helps the pain, stops the bleeding, and closes the gash some, but not all the way. So Nyx lies on his good side biting into the fabric of his sleeve as Pelna carefully stitches the rest of him closed by the campfire. Each time the needle pierces his skin he tries to keep himself from jumping it helps that Pelna is bearing enough of his weight down on him. Eventually the pain gets all muddied into one low long buzz that he doesn’t realize Pelna is done till the gentleness of his touch breaks through it all as he finishes smoothing down the bandage over the wound.

 

It takes a few minutes to find one in that hidden space where they summon their weapons from, but Pelna finally pull out a first aid kit that still has painkillers in it.

 

“I hope there’re still rations in there.” Nyx grumbles, resolving to just swallow the pills, gathering saliva in his mouth to help them go down, and just in time to hear Pelna make a disgusted noise, having pulled out rations specifically marked for them. Nyx takes the canteen offered and motions a small toast and then downs at least half the water in it.

 

“You’re alright though, right?” Nyx finally asks the painkillers helping him enough he can sit up.

 

“A little singed and some bruises, but nothing a potion can’t fix.” Pelna smiles fishing out packets of nuts and dried fruit for them to eat. “I’m in no mood to cook though, hope you don’t hold that against me.”

 

Nyx takes the food offered to him laughing softly. “No, I think you’ve done more than enough.”

 

Pelna hands him one of their blankets. “Won’t be any rain tonight.” They won’t be putting up tents tonight, in other words.

 

Nyx smiles taking the blanket and breathing in deeply, not a hint of rain in the air, can’t smell or taste any at all. It will be nice to look up at the stars.

 

They fall into silence, exhaustion finally catching up, idly munching on their food. Nyx offers Pelna a few stray peanuts, he doesn’t have the taste for them, but Pelna adores them or at least it seems like that by the way he’s holding onto his, to save them for his one last bite.

 

It’s strangely comforting knowing daemons literally prowl just beyond the trees unable to get to them. Sometimes one is quick and foolish enough to try run into haven, but the runes flash bright and dazzling and turn it to ash before it can even break five feet in. If only it were that easy with everything else.

 

“Shit.” He hears Pelna whisper around a mouthful of food.

 

“Hm?” Nyx is honestly half asleep, but he sits up straighter.

 

“That red giant crushed my phone.” Better than his bones at least. Pelna shows him the poor cracked thing. “Your phone still good?”

 

“I hope so.” Nyx says patting himself down, he had it on his injured side. He pulls it out of a pocket, it’s a little smudged with blood, but it works otherwise.

 

“Anything from the others?”

 

It takes a moment to scrub enough blood away to see, but nothing. Nyx shakes his head. He’d like to forget how bad everything went today. It should’ve been simple information gathering just on the edge of Niflheim’s borders. But magiteks in those numbers are something horrifying. He can still feel the way the ground shook as they clattered out broken and rose up to confront their team. Nyx remembers seeing half the team freeze up, he almost did too, taken back to when Galahd fell, but Pelna warped him out the way before he could lose his head.

 

Nyx calls their team leader, but after the tenth call he figures he’s not going to answer.

 

“Hey, Pelna?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Thanks. You saved me at least twice today. I really owe you.”

 

He laughs as he stokes the fire. “Think of it as me paying you back. You’ve really helped me a lot.” Since day one, but only Pelna is keeping track of that. “Anyways, get some rest. I’ll take the first watch.”

 

Nyx nods and lays down on his back slowly, tries not to think too much about the way the fire highlights how brown and beautiful Pelna’s soft, brave eyes are.

 

______

 

The morning seems much colder than the night, Pelna thinks, but maybe morning and night don’t really differ without sunlight. He hates the cold, in all honesty, reminds him too much of … starvation. Reminds him of wearing socks to nothing, of sleeping in dangerous places just for a little warmth, of cutting away spoiled parts of food. Reminds him of blood on snow. Reminds him of being helpless. The sun takes its time to rise, and by the time it does Nyx places a mug of coffee in his hand chasing away the cold in his bones.

They sit and drink giving themselves a chance to wake up. By the time the thought comes to him he’s down to the dregs of his drink, and Nyx is idly tapping the metal sides of his cup.

 

“Didn’t it seem like they knew we’d be there?”

 

“How do you mean?” Nyx’s voice echoes in his cup as he downs the rest of his coffee.

 

“Didn’t seem like there were too many MTs? That was not a factory or like a warehouse for them. I mean sure we were expecting a good handful, general security, but that was… it was just supposed to be an outpost. There were supposed to be people, living breathing people, but there weren’t any.”

 

Nyx hasn’t exactly shaken the fog from his brain, doesn’t help that his painkillers are wearing off either. “You think we were given bad intel?”

 

“Has to be.” And something in the quiet way he says it is too sharp and sets Nyx a little on edge.

 

“But who could’ve done that?”

 

“Don’t know. There’re a lot of points info has to stop before it reaches our end.” Pelna stands then, stretches as he goes up. “We have to get back to Insomnia first.” He fishes a flash drive out of his pocket and holds it between his fingers to show Nyx. “ Hopefully this actually has useful information.” He tries not to frown thinking of how he got it. He still feels the weight of the hand in his, slipping it in his palm just as it breaks from the warp Pelna initiated. Then all of Dimitri warped the other way to crash into the MTs that were pouring into the room. Dimitri knew what was more important. Pelna will make sure he didn’t die in vain.

 

“So you think it’s someone inside?” Nyx admits to himself, even in the short time of actually being out on the field, they’ve been a little more than unlucky on some of their missions.

 

Pelna shrugs at that. “We’ll need proof.”

 

Nyx shudders, Pelna has the brave frigid look in his eyes again. Whatever he’s thinking, he’s at least thankful that Pelna doesn’t seem to be including him in those particular thoughts.

 

______

They’re ten minutes out of haven, walking westward to their rendezvous point by the time they get the call. It’s Mara, she’s their teams second-in-command.

 

“Oh thank the Six! Finally! I have been trying to reach someone for hours.”

 

Pelna sighs with relief hearing her voice on the speaker as Nyx holds the phone for them both to hear.

 

“I’m about two miles out from our rendezvous point. I’ve got Andrea with me, she’s not doing too well, but we should make it. What’s your status?”

 

“Pelna and I should make it just at sundown, got a little banged up too.” They dance around talking about their leader, Theo, and just how many they’ve lost. They can talk about it later, they just need to regroup, and then get back to Insomnia.

 

______

 

Insomnia welcomes the four of them back, more or less. King Regis thanks them for their service and accepts their report with a solemn face. Pelna doesn’t say traitor or that something was off in his report, he just gives the bare bones. It lines up with the other’s reports in the end. They lost six other Glaives, their team leader included. Their forces were overwhelmed by a magitek infantry, but they got the information they were sent to retrieve. Pelna also doesn’t mention he managed to make a copy of that information on the way over, in one of the towns they stopped to rest. All things considered the mission was success.

 

Captain Drautos takes the flash drive and doesn’t reprimand them too harshly. He’s impressed in a small way, just next time, they shouldn’t take a whole week to get back.

 

Pelna, very slowly, very carefully, stops asking what they found on the drive, like it slipped his mind, he already knows.

 

Nyx catches up to him after training, throws an arm around his shoulders, winces a bit not totally healed up, but makes it look like they’re just smiling and laughing.

 

“You’re sure about this?” He whispers just as they turn the corner.

 

Pelna only nods. He won’t say much he’s still working it out in his head, but he’s got a heavy sinking feeling in his gut, almost makes bile come up in his throat. Whatever they’re stumbling into, he just hopes they're not too late.


	2. Eyes Forward

“You’re staring, Nyx.” Libertus whispers his scowl pitching it sharp. Watching Nyx watch Pelna with little new stars in his eyes. They’ve all made their way to the library in the Citadel, one of the few places no one really bothers them. Librarian’s love anyone who loves books, and anyone who knows how be quiet and respectful of others. They won’t have anyone standing in the way of that.

 

Crowe is helping Pelna assemble a small fortress of books on the nearby table. Mostly history and biology books from what he can tell. Nyx knows why his selection is veering that way, but Crowe is just happy and eager to learn things she didn’t get to as a kid, and Pelna is patient enough to answer whatever questions she has. Something about it helping his memory too.

 

“Is it so wrong?” Nyx sighs turning his attention back to Libertus frowning at him over his book. He’s thumbing through a bestiary, if Nyx remembers right he’s still sore about a dualhorn that charged him the other day.

 

“You said you were going to chill out for a little bit before anyone else.” Libertus grumbles, but there isn’t much bite to it as he seems to have found the page he was looking for.

 

Nyx makes poor unashamed means to hide his blush with his own book. A book about nothing really, it’s just nice not to really think about everything else going on. “Not like I did anything. And besides, I mean, you know him…he’s...” He makes a horrible swooning sigh that Libertus drowns out with his own exasperated one. That makes Pelna and Crowe look up at them, but he just waves them off.

 

“At least don’t be so obvious.” Frown clear in his voice.

 

“What’s the harm?” He shrugs.

 

Libertus stares at him a moment waiting for Nyx draw his own conclusion, but it becomes clear he won’t. He leans in a little. “The harm,” making sure his voice is low enough “, is you showing up at my door at 4 am to then mope on my couch for a full week because got your heart broken.”

 

Nyx only grins. “I got it together this time. You won’t hear a peep from me.”

 

Libertus clearly doesn’t believe him by the way his face droops deep into an exhausted frown.

 

Honestly, he’s got it. He won’t go falling head over heels and misread things or leave them unsaid. Things are different now. Pelna doesn’t have to want him, he’s already told himself that. Besides he doubts Pelna has the time to even consider that, he has absolutely accepted that. This won’t be…

 

“This won’t be like with Mira.” Nyx can’t help the small frown, he wanted more, she wanted less, that’s fine, all fine, different paths and all that.

 

“Or like Alex?” Lib asks. Oh Alex wanted, he wanted and wanted, but all he ever did was want. He seems resigned to accept Nyx’s words and decides to spare him from listing all his other heartbreaks.

 

They all settle into reading. Nyx manages to only look up once or twice at Pelna. The sound of pen scratching at paper and keyboards typing sits on top of the quiet hum, cut every now and then by pages turning. As time passes he becomes less and less sure about what he’s reading, letters fuzz and crash together as his eyes become heavy, fluttering trying to stay open. Some days sitting down like there’s actual peace to be had feels more exhausting. He rises up rotating his neck, and blinks away the fog at the corners of his eyes. At some point Libertus joined Crowe and Pelna, and now he’s quietly debating something with Crowe out of a book. He’s mostly whispering, so there’s that.

 

Pelna gets up and plops a few books on the library cart, he takes his notebook and disappears into the rows. Nyx follows suit dropping his own book on the cart. Pelna is definitely one of the fastest in the Kingsglaive. He’s good at staying out of sight too. He’s not where Nyx thought he turned to so it takes a minute or two and then he finds him crouched low carefully following his finger along the book spines, looking for something.

 

“Hey.” Nyx says softly to catch Pelna’s attention. He means to crouch down next to him, but Pelna is already up his notebook tucked under his arm.

 

“Hey.” Pelna smiles with his whisper, bright and easy.

 

“Any luck? Do you need me to help you look for anything?” Nyx leans against the shelf

 

Pelna watches him for a second. “A little bit but it’s all surface level.” He flips through his notes trying to refresh his mind of what he’s written down. Flicks his tongue out just the slightest as he concentrates and gathers his thoughts. “I think I’m going to just look through archives now, any old news reports that might seem relevant.”

 

“What would be relevant?”

 

He sees Pelna’s eyes look around to see if anyone is in earshot, then we waves Nyx in closer to him. He goes, not too close, but definitely in his space having to crane his neck to look down at Pelna. The sun streaming in through the windows just highlights how bright and intelligent Pelna’s eyes are.

 

“It’s no secret the Nif’s use daemons and magiteks as the bulk of their military,” He begins, and Nyx nods at that. “so any actual people are few and far between.”

 

Nyx nods again.

 

“It wasn’t specific, but there were names on what we found.” That’s all he gets to say before a “psst” interrupts them. Nyx looks over his shoulder to see Libertus and Crowe. Pelna only pokes his head to see them for a second but then he starts flipping through his notebook again.

 

“There you are.” Crowe says her smile mischievous and high on her face.

 

Libertus frowns instead, but he sort of always does. “We’re going to Yamachang’s. You should come eat with us.”

 

The window past his head shows the sky splashed in oranges pinks, and purples as the sun sinks lower and lower into the horizon. “Well, maybe in a bit.” Nyx looks back to Pelna. “You still need to look at some things, right?”

 

He hums. “I do, but I should probably think more about what I have found. There are other things to consider.” He hooks his pen into the spine of his notebook and tucks it under his arm. “I should have time tomorrow after my shift.”

 

“If you’re sure.”

 

“I am. Sleeping on it might help too.”

 

Nyx claps him on his back and they all start heading out.

 

______

 

“None of you are old enough to drink, especially not you.” Yamachang nods pointedly at Crowe. “Stop trying to wear me down.” He frowns rotating his kebabs over the coals.

 

“Oh come on, what’s a years difference?” Nyx smiles leaning over the counter.

 

“Prison.” Yamachang says flatly. “I’m not losing my liquor license or my restaurant for a little extra cash.” He unceremoniously plops their bowls on the counter and starts on his next order.

 

Nyx sighs. “You’re no fun.” He and Crowe take their orders and go to the table where Libertus and Pelna are waiting, well arguing, or maybe discussing, because Pelna has laughter in his eyes and Libertus has his signature frown on.

 

“I’m just saying, it ain’t enough pay to be running around from grumpy animals who try to eat you.” Libertus mumbles a ‘thanks’ taking his bowl from Nyx.

 

“I understand, but I don’t think that’s going to convince the Captain or anyone really to give us a raise.” Crowe slides him his bowl and he smiles and thanks her.

 

“Some Captain, he’s in the same boat as us.” Libertus takes a second to inspect his food and decides without tasting it needs more pepper. He scoops chills out of the small jar on the table onto his dish.

 

“Is he really?” Pelna asks taking a bite of his food and then silently agreeing with Libertus’ assessment, adds more pepper over it as well.

 

Nyx really wants to ask how they stand so much pepper, but then again his sister and mom used to tease him about his poor tolerance. A Galahdian who can’t handle the heat? At least he can pretend it’s not searing his tongue off.

 

“He’s not,” Libertus agrees, “but they do all realize they can’t keep pretending they treat us well?”

 

“Do they?” Crowe chimes in already scraping the last scraps of rice from her plate. She always eats so fast.

 

Libertus makes a horrible low frustrated growl in his throat.

 

Nyx drinks some water easing the tickling heat crawling down his throat. “ Are you really that mad over the dualhoarn?” He asks sure that he can speak clearly without sounding like he’s dying, even if his stomach is maybe actually dying. Did Yamachang put more pepper in it than usual?

 

“It’s the principle of the matter!” Libertus defends, swiping some of the meat out of his dish for a show of spite. He knows Nyx can’t handle it. Nyx will always be grateful for that.

 

They laugh and start to talk about nothing. Maybe half an hour passes before Pelna excuses himself, gathering his, Crowe’s and Lib’s bowls to put on the counter. He pauses suddenly as he walks and then turns back to them.

 

“Hey Nyx, swing by later when you’re done, yeah?”

 

Nyx half chokes. He tells himself it’s the food. “Uh yeah, sure, sure.”

 

“You remember the way?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Pelna waves at them all and leaves, jogging up the steps and out onto the street.

 

Nyx watches him go.

 

“Eyes forward.” Libertus says.

 

“They are.”

 

He hears Libertus sigh. “You know what I mean.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” He looks down at his food and considers shoveling the rest in.

 

“He only wants _you_ to come over?” Crowe says holding her face in her hands to smile at him. Mischief shines in her eyes.

 

“So there **is** something going on with you two?” Libertus more accuses than asks.

 

“Well, what can I say?” Nyx shrugs deciding yes he’s going try to swallow the rest of his food in one go. Somehow he succeeds, and for a few gracious seconds it doesn’t burn, but then it does and he regrets it all. Water is good, so good, but he absolutely doesn’t have enough. Breathing makes it worse too.

 

Crowe and Lib have the decency not to laugh, even if Nyx squeezes out a weak one.

 

His little fit passes and Crowe speaks. “So is that what you two were talking about in the library?”

 

“A little bit, yeah.” He starts gathering his things. Crowe seems smugly cheerful and Libertus looks exasperated. Oh if only it was exactly what they thought it was, but it won’t hurt to let them think it is. Digging around into a war where refugees like them are just an afterthought could be more than a little bit risky.

 

“I’ll see you two tomorrow.”

 

“Have fun.” Crowe singsongs. Libertus just huffs crossing his arms.

______

 

Down here everything is close together, small boxes they call apartments stacked on one another. From the neon lights of the food and shopping district to the gray tame housing area it’s all just tight,there is almost a precise line where one ends and the other begins. All the flats are paper-thin walls, cracking cement, and the occasional piece of plywood over a broken window. Loud and smothering, but also it’s cozy. It takes living here to know how to flow with the movement of the crowd, shouldn’t have a problem bumping into anyone. It’s home enough, but only by so much.

 

Nyx can smell rain in the air tonight, it’s nothing like the rain in Galahd. It tastes like magic, buzzes the same way the King’s magic does in his veins. But it’s also tepid, and heavy and feels like it’s always apologizing for something. Back home, the rain is the opposite, it was icy and tasted like the sea, the smell of salt always filled his nose, it was exhilarating and felt so alive. Rain in Galahd always felt like it renewed him. He still loves the rain, but what he wouldn’t give to feel it like how he remembers it to be.

 

By the time Nyx makes it to Pelna’s the rain is crashing down. He doesn’t mind it one bit, not even the way it makes his clothes and hair stick to him. His tongue darts out without thinking tasting the rain, he can’t help it he always has to. There’s a bitter sharp taste in it, meaning the sky will soon be full of thunder and lightning. It makes the magic under his skin prickle and dance.

 

He knocks on Pelna’s door, it takes a moment but Pelna greets him with a towel.

 

“Made it just in time.” Pelna says moving aside for him to step in past the threshold. He pokes his head out just a little and he takes and audible breath, like he’s savoring the smell of the rain. Then he closes the door and turns to Nyx who’s patting down the excess water so he doesn’t drip all over the place.

 

“You want to borrow some clothes?” Pelna asks already nearing his closet.

 

“Nah. I’ll be fine.” He does like the feeling, he can almost pretend he’s swimming in Galahd’s river again. Besides, Pelna may be built too, but he’s just a touch smaller than Nyx, he doesn’t really want try and squeeze into his clothes. A little rain never made any Galahdian sick either way.

 

Pelna leads him to a table pushed up under a window flush to the wall, he has another chair there for Nyx to sit on.

 

“Oh! Let me get another towel.” It’s a quick action, he’s at his closet and then back draping the towel in the chair to help Nyx dry off. He could just walk around mostly naked like they’re in the barracks again, but the rain is here to stay, he can tell, Pelna might know that too. No matter what hour he leaves later, it will just be the same.

 

He adjusts himself in the chair and takes a moment to look around. Nyx has been here a few times before, and each time the floor space shrinks as Pelna piles towers and towers of books and papers. The most well kept thing in the space beside his bed is this corner of the room where different patterned textiles are slowly stacking up, a sewing machine and lamp waiting beside it.

 

It’s otherwise a lot like his apartment, small and compact. Wooden floors that grow cold and soak up whatever smell seeps into the barely held together structure.

 

Pelna shuffles his papers looking them over before he decides what to start with. “So, you’re sure you want to keep digging at this with me?”

 

“Someone’s gotta have your back.” Nyx says simply, like that’s enough of a reason. His small smile is infections and Pelna can’t help but return it.

 

Pelna exhales slowly. “Alright.” He spreads out a few sheets on top of the desk and sits. “This particular outpost relayed information, it wasn’t one to stand guard or anything, right?”

 

Nyx nods. The mission brief they had told them as much, that all they had to do was keep quiet, get in, download info, and get out. Well they were quiet, not a peep, and they were only met with more quiet. Not once did they see a living breathing person. The more time Nyx has had time to think about it, the more it doesn’t make sense. The more it seems like Pelna is onto something. It was like it was emptied recently, half the place shut down and on emergency lights. It was so quiet he remembers hearing his breath reach the other end of the halls. Then, as if they were waiting, when Dimitri said he had the info, MTs tumbled in. He never noticed before, but MTs scream when they die, horrible wretched screams that in chorus still loop in his ears.

“There are a few names that stand out. Brandt, Tummelt, Egil, Ulldor, and Eira come up a lot. Most of them are familiar.”

 

Nyx nods again.

 

“Eira and Ulldor come up frequently on cargo routes. It wouldn’t be anything if Ulldor, especially, wasn’t known to be high ranking. Why is he handling cargo?”

 

Nyx thinks about the last time he heard about their own Captain or even is his second for that matter transporting cargo. That’s never happened. “I wouldn’t think he’d do it unless it was very important. Food and supplies are important sure, but you’d never see a high ranking official on one of those. Not unless they really want to. I don’t see that guy wanting to do anything _beneath_ him.” They’ve faced off once before, and Ulldor’s nose was so high in the air he’d drown if it rained.

 

“Exactly.” Pelna points to emphasize. “And it’s a lot. He doesn’t come up as much as Eira, but nearly as much. And by the amount of human and MT personnel that’s noted to be with him each time? Way too important to just be hardtacks and water.”

 

“What does this have to do with it being a setup, though?”

 

“I think it’s just meant to seem like insignificant information. If it weren’t for the fact we barely escaped, from what was meant to be simple recon, I don’t think anyone would be looking at it. I think this is the start of more.” Pelna stands suddenly, he tries to keep it minimal but he’s pacing, his thoughts are sparking and it’s like he can barely contain it.

 

Nyx turns his seat more to him leaning forward elbows on his knees. “But why just try to off ten Glaives? Why not thirty or even the whole faction?”

 

“I think,” And now Pelna’s steps are much wider and faster all of a sudden, “I think we were never supposed to get the information. I think someone was doing their job. I think it was legit before it got to us, and then at some point the outpost found out.”

 

“Why not just wipe the computers then?”

 

“That feels even more obvious. And it was basically abandoned or looked the part, maybe someone slipped, because honestly? That was the only computer Dimitri and I were able to access, everything else was down.”

 

Nyx hums and throws the first towel he was given onto his shoulder. “You haven’t heard anything about the original drive either?”

 

“I stopped asking like a week ago.” Pelna stops to look at Nyx. “It will be a month soon, and nothing about it? I don’t even know who was supposed to go through it after it left Captain Drautos.”

 

“Maybe they think it’s all just standard information.”

 

Pelna shakes his head. “That we were sent for? That six Glaives died for? They may not like us much, but we’re not actually expendable. Six people don’t get slaughtered by like fifty magiteks without someone wanting that.”

 

Pelna does have a point. They both are and aren’t expendable, but not everyone can become a Glaive, but also Insomnia has a lot of soldiers. He scratches his head.

 

“Have you heard from Mara?”

 

“No.” Pelna says picking up the pace. “She was deployed somewhere in Cleigne, but that’s all I know. And Andrea is still admitted.”

 

Nyx picks up the papers laid out starts skimming them.

 

“Look Nyx, I know it seems like I’m reading too much. But I just have this terrible…cold feeling at the back of my neck. I think once I dig into some archives things will become clearer.”

 

Nyx smiles at him softly. Pelna is usually right about his feelings. “Alright. I mean I do agree something is off about what happened.” He rises up and catches Pelna’s shoulder, stopping his pacing. “Whatever this is, I’ll help you. I trust you.” His hand goes down with Pelna’s shoulder as it relaxes at his words.

 

“Nyx,” And Pelna says his name so softly Nyx has to stop the giddy hopeless smile that tries to split his mouth. “Look, _if_ I am overthinking it, and it becomes clear. I need you to stop me.” It could just be grief, anger, but he doesn’t feel that it is, it’s not clouded and heated. He just constantly feels like he’s about to jump off a cliff with no security of magic to warp him to safety. It’s like his feet haven’t touched the ground since it all occurred to him. “Please. If you need to. Remind me how to move forward.”

 

The soft sound Nyx lets out is an admission pretending to be an easy laugh, and maybe he stares a little too long into Pelna’s eyes, dares to wonder how deep and brown they are, just for a second. But then that brave determined fury is in them again and he comes back to himself. “Whatever you need, Pelna. I’ve got your back, yesterday, today, tomorrow, whenever you need me.”

 

Pelna smiles, and if he’s honest he looks into Nyx’s eyes a little too long as well. They seem almost too blue in the dim light of the room. Something passes between them, but neither seizes it, so it sinks into the floorboard waiting to be stirred. “Thanks …hero.”

 

Nyx snorts. “Not you too.” He removes his hand from Pelna’s shoulder. “Considering what happened recently, I’d say you’re the hero.”

 

“I like some sense of peace, you can keep that title. Besides we know you thrive on all the praise.”

 

“You got me there.” Nyx starts moving for the door. “Listen, if I can tomorrow, I’ll meet you in the library.”

 

“Of course. I’ll let you know what I find.”

 

“Yeah.” They stand in the doorway with the rain is still splashing down. They both watch it for a moment. Nyx hears Pelna breathe in again beside him, and he does the same. He hands Pelna back his towel and walks into the rain arms wide open. Pelna smiles at that.

 

Pelna pokes his head out enough to watch Nyx make a show of enjoying the rain, till he turns up the street out of sight. Then he closes the door and looks down at the towel in his hand. Why he wonders, why does the rain makes Nyx look so… Can someone look good in the rain? Nyx looks at home in the rain. And in a way he reminds him of the rain, dark gray hair like a storm cloud, and eyes as blue as the sky, no, eyes as blue as lightning, sharp and intense.

 

He wonders if he looks that way too? If he looks at all any way at all in the rain. If he thinks far enough, he knew Galahd for an even shorter amount of time than the others. He knew Galahd in pieces and moments. His mother’s work and habits frequently took them away from the islands. What sort of cruel luck it was the day they stopped in it all crumbled away, the sky tried in vain to rain down on the Nifs. Lightning streaked the night sky. Ramuh the old bastard tried, but he was still half slumbering in Angelgard, nowhere near his full strength. He shakes his head. He can still smell all the fire and smoke trees set on fire from all the lightning strikes and how it all swirled together cloying and suffocating.

 

His parents fought, but like so many they fell. And before he knew it, before he could make sense of it all, he was left standing in the middle of nothing, his ears ringing. Pelna’s breath seizes and he stops at his desk, his feet having taken him there lost in his haze. Remembering that all just makes the cold feeling worse.

 

There’s just one thing, one name, Pelna didn’t mention. His fingers tingle as he fishes it out of his drawer. General Glacua. It comes up infrequently, but it’s there. There are deployments, but other mentions that read like something else.

 

They’ve faced him twice, not directly, but they’ve been on the same battlefield. He’s always just out of their grasp, always vanishing into thin air once he’s done enough damage. A living legend, and yet there’s just something about him, that’s familiar, Pelna thinks.

 

Honestly, Pelna doesn’t ever want to fight him, not if he doesn’t have to. He laughs weakly, but they’re at war that’s naïve wishful thinking. He’s seen what the general can do, how soldiers just die, like it’s nothing for them to die, like it’s an offense for them to stand before him. Even at a distance he could see the blood red and bright shine and stick to his armor, like it’s meant to be there. Pelna’s presses his palms together interlocking his fingers, trying to stop the shaking that’s spread from his fingertips to his shoulders.

 

He can’t.

 

But damn him, he will try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for tuning in for chapter 2~ Very much appreciate any feedback~
> 
> Feel free to stop by my tumblr [ scrawlingcomet ](https://scrawlingcomet.tumblr.com/) where I crosspost


	3. It will come

The rain yesterday left the weather windy and frigid. Here in the library the cold snap on top of the air conditioner still running, pierces down into Pelna’s joints, his Kingsglaive fatigues just barely enough to keep from huddling over into a shivering ball. He’s maybe been in here three hours since he finished his patrol shift, so it’s somewhere into the late evening, he won’t look at the time the day is already wearing on him.

 

It’s by the time he stretches out and wiggles his fingers to ease the numbness that it catches his eye. The brief highlights his keywords **M.E. 735 Niflheim Cargo**  found. He skims the summary, something about strange and unusual transport found nothing specific, but he clicks and he’s lead to a classified page. He jots down the articles ID number, but tries to follow whatever connects with it. There is nothing else that matches, it is just that one lone article he’s managed to whittle his search down to. He rubs his faces roughly and tells himself the chill squirming up his spine is because of the weather, it’s not, it’s not that feeling.

 

Though he convinces himself of that, the walk to the front desk feels like it takes ages. It’s almost like his legs don’t want to move, again he tells himself they’re just feeling numb from everything, training, work, and the cold, especially the cold. He tries to massage just a little more feeling into them. They just need to take him forward.

 

The older man behind the desk smiles at him. His face is squared and folded down with age. “How may I help you?”

 

It takes a second to look at his nametag and process other words than what he’s been skimming over for hours. “Kyle, um yes.” Pelna flexes his hand for a second to make sure it’s not shaking and then slides the piece of paper he wrote the number on. “Is it possible I could access this?”

 

Kyle takes the sheet and gives it a good once over, and then proceeds to type away at his desktop, slowly but carefully making sure he’s going through all the necessary steps. He hums aloud and then gives Pelna a once over. Pelna came here right in his uniform, and he knows for the most part he still looks presentable. “Give me your identification card so I can put in a request for you.”

 

“Of course.” He hopes the hitch in his breath didn’t carry out and he slides his ID across the counter.

 

There is more typing, more humming. Then for a moment Kyle disappears into the backroom and reappears with a few papers in tow.

 

“Sign here and here, this is your copy, and here’s your ID back.”

 

Pelna does exactly as he says and puts away his ID, neatly pressing his own forms between the pages of his notebook. “Thank you. Any idea how long it might take?”

 

Kyle smiles at him. “Usually three to five days, but I’ll be honest, a classified document might not make it to you at all. If it takes a full month, don’t expect it at all. We’ll be in touch.”

 

Honestly, Pelna likes that about the people who work in the library, they don’t really care for the bureaucracy of it all that keeps knowledge behind high walls, when they’re an institution that’s supposed be about accessing that knowledge. So they won’t get your hopes up if they can’t help you. So he just nods, trying to not feel too dejected. “Thank you Kyle, have a good rest of the evening.” Kyle nods to him politely so he leaves.

 

Just as he exits through the door he runs into Nyx, well almost, but they both stop short.

 

“Oh good you’re still here!” Nyx says excitedly but then cringes realizing he was loud. “Sorry. It took forever to wrap things up.”

 

“It’s fine. Did you…” Pelna trails off finding his phone and sees he has no signal at all. “Ah.”

 

Nyx peeks over his phone. “Yeah I kind of figured you didn’t get my texts in here.” He moves to the side so Pelna can move. “You’re done for the day aren’t you?”

 

Pelna sees the sag in his shoulders and catches how his voice dips a little sad. “Yeah.” He pats his back and begins to walk. “It was boring, right up until the end.” He rubs his dry burning eyes.

 

Nyx throws his arm around his shoulders again and falls into step with him. He doesn’t mind that, he’s still close to shivering, so it’s nice to have a little solid warmth. “So nothing at all?”

 

“Maybe. But that’s if I actually get to look at it.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Pelna pauses just at the elevator waiting for the doors to open. He leans in a little closer to Nyx, wraps his own arm around him. “Something was marked classified.” He just barely whispers that and Nyx almost misses it just as the elevator pings open, no one else inside.

 

In the elevator he keeps his face pointed to the ground. “I’m not sure I’ll even get access to it, but if I do...” And he clenches his fist that rests at Nyx’s waist his fingernails catching in the fabric.

 

Nyx looks down at Pelna for a moment feels and sees the tension that he’s trying to contain, and then casually rolls his head spying the little camera in the upper corner. Pelna won’t say anymore right now, that much he gathers.

 

Outside the library they disentangle, and Pelna immediately pushes his hood over his head. Their breath frosts out with each exhale. “Cold already?” The steps of the library are damp, a quick shower having just passed through. The wind still hasn’t had the decency to stop blowing.

 

Pelna just “ughs” and Nyx laughs short and soft, and offers his arm again. Pelna lets him wrap his arm around him again, and pushes himself into Nyx’s side as much as he can, even if that makes it a little hard to walk.

 

“Let’s go get you something hot to eat.”

______

 

The morning air is filled with that cold stillness, almost like it’s bloated and threatening snow. It probably will, but the weather report wasn’t sure. Although Pelna’s nose knows better so he tucks fleece under his fatigues and shuts out the inevitable cold that’s already making his toes feel boney and exposed. It’s too early for the sun to rise and offer him spots of heat so he hugs himself tighter and walks up the street.

______

Captain Drautos is a monument, no a mountain. They just can’t make him move, even with five of them going at him. Pelna got the drop on him once, but that that was when they were still green and Drautos has since kept his eye on Pelna. The opening is never actually an opening, but one day he’ll find the actual opening, till then, he lands on his feet being thrown off the mountain.

 

“You sure you’re elite soldiers?” Their Captain asks amused and not amused all at once. It’s a joke pretending to be an insult, but it comes from his chest so it’s booming and lashing.

 

Nyx gets him then, a crack that ricochets up all the way out of the training area, that cuts the invisible wall of cold that’s been building in the air. Nyx lands his hits half the time, but that’s only because he’s all unpredictable instinct .The victory only last a moment and Nyx is thrown back into rock, which made that broken _thwack_ sound they’ll have to see. Pelna runs past the captain, and it’s brief, but he sees it at the edge of his vision, Drautos smirks, the slightest slit and then it’s gone.

 

Crowe and Libertus get to Nyx before Pelna propping him up. He hears Nyx whisper “fuck” under his breath.

 

“You alright, Ulric?” Drautos asks calmly, his footsteps still thunderous in their slow crawl.

 

His breath huffs out like a heavy cloud. “Sir, yes sir.” Nyx’s face is edging feral and ecstatic, they see it, but no one is fast enough to react to his dagger leaving his hand and him warping into their Captain feet first knocking him back. Someone whistles. They turn to light and warp up and around the training ground.

 

Libertus sighs and Crowe hides her laugh. Pelna wants to roll his eyes but he’s desperately trying to keep up with what’s happening. He admires that way about Nyx, how instinct can lead him hurtling forward. Even if it’s a bad idea half the time, he’s never seen Nyx hesitate once he gets that way.

 

They make it high up along the spires of the training grounds. No sound of blades clashing ring out but it’s clear they are trading blows.

 

It’s over a minute or so later, and they both warp down to the ground Captain Drautos holding Nyx in a headlock. He looks bored, he kind of always does, even when he’s enjoying himself Pelna has noticed. “Spell and shield drills, that’s enough warm up for now.” And he drops Nyx already crossing his arms behind his back to stand and watch.

 

Libertus hauls Nyx onto his feet with little gentleness and scolds him under his breath.

 

Pelna honestly, really likes magic. He likes shields the most, they provide him with a moment to think, but even more than that they let him protect people. It’s also a good matchup for Crowe, who loves fire. While she’s good at offensive magic, she is prone to using a lot and burning too hot, sometimes managing to turn the fire full white or even blue sometimes, and Pelna’s shields just barely hold to it.

 

The shield crackles and pieces together like frosted glass and domes enough around him so the fire passes over behind him harmlessly. As the shield fades he throws ice at Crowe, and she just barely melts it away before it hits her. With the chill in the air and shield she didn’t notice ice dusting his palm.

 

“You’re supposed to put up a shield!” Pelna laughs out at her.

 

“It still worked!” She huffs a flame already wavering in her hand.

 

Beside them, Nyx does much the same, but with lightning, snapping out of his fingers and shattering the ice Libertus throws at him.

 

“Maybe Lib and I should pair up, and you and Nyx practice.” He offhandedly puts up a shield knowing she’s already throwing fire again.

 

“Aw, not with me Pelna?” Nyx pretends to sound hurt but it has little effect as lighting crackles out and breaks Libertus’ shield.

 

“No, I’d like to do the drills properly for once.”

 

“But it’s good to be improper on the battlefield, keeps your opponent guessing.” He makes to smile at Pelna but Libertus casts a very mean very big ball of fire his way.

 

He barely dodges but tries to sound nonchalant. “Hey I’m talking here, Lib.”

 

Libertus grumbles and throws ice this time.

 

Pelna laughs behind his shield. “You and Crowe do the same thing, Nyx, I don’t think it would help.”

 

They both “hey” in unison stopping their casting.

 

Pelna sticks his tongue out through his smile under his teeth at Nyx. He sees that sharp feral edge widen his eyes, but just before he can move to pounce.

 

“Khara!” Captain Drautos’ voice rings out.

 

“Sir!” Pelna says standing to attention, everyone else stops practicing and watches.

 

Drautos motions with his head to come over so he does. Pelna goes to him as quickly as he can without jogging, no one keeps the Captain of Kingsglaive waiting. He almost doesn’t notice the smaller man behind…beside Drautos. He’s much shorter than the captain, maybe even shorter than Crowe, and he’s practically quaking in his Crownsguard uniform. It’s a little hard not to when Drautos is towering with his perfectly erect back making sure you feel small.

 

“Sir?” Pelna questions after the soldier doesn’t seem brave enough to offer explanation.

 

“You’re being summoned.” He almost growls, and looks pointedly at the smaller Crownsguard solider.

 

“L-Lieutenant Eshlett wishes to speak with you!” He says nearing shouting. Pelna pities him. They really should stop sending the greenhorns to speak to Captain Drautos.

 

“Of course.” He nods. “Sir.” He says turning back to his captain.

 

“Dismissed.” Drautos nods at him, but he’s more sneering than anything at the poor Crownsguard soldier.

 

“Lead the way.” He smiles, but the soldier turns sharply and stiffly walks ahead. Pelna sneaks a look at the others and shrugs at their questioning looks. Nyx looks more concerned than confused.

______

 

 

It takes about 15 minutes to reach the halfway point, and he gets a text from Nyx.

 

_‘Call me later?’_

_‘Yeah.’_

______

 

Pelna tries, but doesn’t get a single word out of the soldier, not even his name, by the time they reach Lieutenant Eshlett’s office. He announces him and immediately leaves.

 

Now Monica Eshlett shouldn’t be intimidating, but only in the way Pelna knows he shouldn’t be intimidating, in that very approachable way. But he knows about her, she’s second to Marshal Leonis for a reason. She’s the knife in the shadows and an ear to the ground, and oh has Pelna heard some things. Her office is neat, far too big with high ceilings and tall windows. Piles of documents sit on one side of her desk, and there’re clear signs of other people running in and out of here where dirt has started to collect on this side of the room.

 

“Pelna Khara.” She says simply watching him for a moment where she stands by the window. If this were a different situation and Pelna was foolish and daring he’d say she looks angelic, because her face is very soft and round and the morning light casts a halo on the crown of her graying hair, but it’s not and he’s not, so he stands at attention waiting for her orders. From here Pelna can see there is a small metal dish, like one for an animal to be fed out off, he can’t tell if it’s empty or not. “Have a seat.” She says taking her own seat.

 

Sitting closer to the desk, he can see the little touches that have made the space her own. Besides her nameplate, it’s clear she’s fond of cats, little tasteful trinkets here and there in various cat shapes and paw prints.

 

“Good morning, Lieutenant Eshlett.” Pelna smiles small and polite.

 

She opens her drawer without breaking her eyes from him and pulls out two folders, one slim and simple, and then a very heavy accordion folder that _thwamps_ down next to the small one almost blowing it away.

 

“This,” she begins taking the smaller folder in hand and stretching it out to him, “is the article you requested.”

 

He takes it from her with a “thanks”, and glances at the title making sure it’s what he read. It is, but he looks back up at her because he has manners and she has more to say.

 

“This,” and she rests her hand the bigger folder, “contains the actual full details behind that article.” She drums her fingers. “Please explain to me, Mr. Khara, what prompted you to request that article. And please do not lie to me, as I do not intend to lie to you today.” And also, and she doesn’t need to say, but Pelna has heard she’s very good at sniffing out lies.

 

Pelna has a choice he realizes, and it weighs in his mind, the ticking of the clock in the room seems to drum it in harder. Does he need to lie right now? Does he need to lie knowing that she will know and that there will be consequences. Instead of at his neck, his gut tightens. This is the lead he needs.

 

“This has happened twice before.” Monica says without prompting. “Each time, this folder grew. Maybe, if you will, this third time, I can finally close this file.”

 

So the words tumble out, and he tells her exactly what’s been making this coming winter so much colder for him. Even about Glauca. She expects some of it by her reaction.

 

“And Nyx Ulric knows as well?” She asks when he winds down.

 

“Yes, Lieutenant Eshlett.”

 

She nods, she can work with that.

 

It’s several hours later, of reading everything she presents him, of standing up and pacing, of having to hold his breath because it is in no way what he imagined, it’s a hell of a lot worse. He’s dizzy and his head feels like it’s been crammed full to bursting, the water he’s offered doesn’t help, his tongue just feels like cotton balled and trying to suffocate him. But he’s finally, finally, coming somewhere near to touching ground, even if his feet still dangle, he’s close. So he leaves her, with a drive of everything and more. His shift will be covered, it started like three hours ago, so he should just go home and start fresh tomorrow, he’s involved in something now, but he’s not alone.

 

______

 

A light dusting of snow covers the streets, no more falls, but Pelna is mindful to walk carefully.

______

 

Pelna doesn’t know when exactly, he is aware he wandered the food district for a while, picked up something hot that’s now turned cold and congealed, but he told Nyx he was coming over. Maybe he’s a little later than he’d said he’d be because Nyx is half asleep by the time he answers the door. The brisk air has a part in it, but something on Pelna’s face shocks him wide-awake and Nyx pulls him into his apartment.

 

“What happened? What’s wrong?”

 

Pelna ‘s mouth opens then shuts and he looks around not really taking anything in. Nyx has him sit down and takes his cold food and leaves it on the counter.

 

He comes to stand in front of him. “Pelna?”

 

“Nyx…fuck.” He breathes out more to the wall behind Nyx than at Nyx.

 

Nyx cocks his head. “…you… want to?”

 

“No…”He says and a moment passes and then he stands suddenly. “Nyx! FUCK!” He says emphasizing with his hands as if that explains it all.

 

“You’re going to have to use more than three words here.”

 

The drive Pelna got earlier sits heavy and burning in the pocket at his chest, so he puts his hand over it to smother it. “Nyx…”

 

“Yes, Pelna?”

 

“We are in so much shit.”

 

“We?”

 

“Okay I am, but I know you’re going to help me, so we.”

 

Nyx nods. “Fair enough.”

 

If this were any other time, any other time in their miserable lives, Pelna knows he could fall for Nyx for that, a thousand times over, because how does he just accept it all and decide his trust in Pelna is good enough? But it’s not some other time, it is just the present, not the past not the future, he wishes it was, because he wouldn’t feel like he’s about to fall out of his own head dashed out with the too many thoughts that are tangling together and trying to shape his mouth to speak.

______

Nyx reheats Pelna’s food and urges him to eat till he starts speaking in full sentences.

 

“Niflheim is so fucked up.” Pelna throws his head back saying that to the ceiling as Nyx takes his plate from him.

 

“They are, but go ahead, elaborate, I’ve got more sleep to lose.” Nyx says from the kitchen filling two glasses with water.

 

“Oh fuck, I’m sorry. ” Pelna apologizes small and quiet pressing one of his hands to his forehead and takes the glass of water offered to him with the other.

 

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He says easily, shrugging with his own glass in hand.

 

Pelna gulps down his water and then rests the glass on Nyx’s table. “Hey Nyx?”

 

Nyx makes a questioning noise drinking his own water.

 

“Thanks.” Pelna smiles at him.

 

Nyx rests his own glass down and hopes his own smile isn’t too goofy. “I already told you, whenever you need me, I’ve got you.”

 

He does, so Pelna tells him, as much as he can, not everything because he’s still processing it all, but he tells him. He starts shaking halfway through it his words picking up the pace almost crashing together, but keeps going, even when Nyx says maybe he should stop, because someone else needs to know. It’s more than just daemons, it’s more than just robots, it’s people, people turned into something not human, people turned into quasi-daemon killing machines, red blood and white bone twisted and flesh pulled taut and shaped into something else.

 

It’s not right, none of this is right. It’s selfish and they’ve all just been forced to deal with it.

 

Maybe he starts crying at some point his face is too hot to tell, but Nyx holds him trying to calm him down, any tears that fall get soaked up by Nyx’s shirt. “…that’s why they scream like that Nyx, when they die.” He mutters out thick and croaky, the pictures he looked over flashing before his eyes. Those pictures left him speechless. Half-formed things in shattered broken glass turned over in that cargo transport. Limbs and just masses of flesh scattered and disintegrating where sunlight touched them, but it was so slow and gradual bubbling and blistering away. He doesn’t think he’ll show Nyx that, he really doesn’t actually need to lose sleep over this, Pelna doesn’t want to put that on him, and it’s already too much just having the idea of it all.

______

 

Pelna wakes up hours later, tucked under Nyx’s sheets. It’s still early morning the sun nowhere near rising, but still too early to report for training. He turns till his back faces the wall and sees Nyx dozing away in his reclining chair a thin blanket barely covering him. He’s not sure when he fell asleep, but even tired as he is he’s mentally tallying just how many favors this is now. He soon falls back asleep watching Nyx sleep, drifting thoughts that Nyx’s sleeping face is pretty too nestle down in the back of his mind.

______

 

Tomorrow, no today feels too open and hazy. He’s called again by Monica, they need a plan. He spends the day digging through the military archives, reviewing what she gave him, just looking for anything, any stone that’s been left unturned.

 

They have some information on magiteks,but it’s not enough. There was something else found the year after, in 736. Well not something, someone else, but Monica thinks they’ve exhausted that end. The research found with them was the first time someone poked their nose into this file, that incident being the only reason they have any inkling of how magiteks work and are made.

 

Pelna keeps finding is that they have almost nothing on Glauca. He’s like a phantasm, he’s always dropping in and out of thin air, like something that can only exist in battle once blood as been spilt to summon him. Then he is gone. There’s the question if he’s just another magitek, another daemon, but he moves organically, and thoughtfully, and has been clearly seen giving orders.

 

Pelna gave Lieutenant Eshlett the records he stowed away, the records she was told were corrupted. So who exactly is lying? Because the report came from Druatos’ second, Otho, but the captain signed off on it, and several other’s confirmed it as well. In these records there’s something about General Glauca, he is always gone for a long period of time, but is always deployed at key moments, mostly fights they lost severely.

 

Monica reminds him before he goes to keep Ullric informed, she won’t meet with him yet to avoid turning heads, but he’s already involved.

 

It makes Pelna dizzy there is so much, but then it almost feels like nothing at all. So he leaves for the night bundling his collar and fleece at his neck, but even that can’t shut out that numbing tingling feeling.

 

The only saving grace tonight is that the others are waiting for him. Tonight they’re grilling food on Libertus’ rooftop. Libertus loves the cold for some reason. At least he has the decency to pretend he’s cold by wearing a long sleeved shirt, but the fact he’s wearing shorts in this weather makes Pelna wonder. Crowe keeps herself warmer by playing with little bundles of fire in her hands. Nyx seems fine in the weather, him and Crowe at least dressed for it. He’s also content to press his back to Pelna’s while they sit and talk to help him stay warm.

 

______

 

“How're you doing that?” Nyx asks looking at Pelna’s handiwork as he feeds the fabric through the sewing machine, clothes he was folding forgotten in his hand.

The _tuk tuk tuk_ of the machine almost drowns out the sound of the hailstorm outside. The weather just keeps turning colder and colder. Some of the homes outside have aluminum roofs, and the hail clatters down on them like gunshots.

 

Pelna remembers when he first came to Insomnia, where he first stayed had aluminum roofs, and it always sounded like the world was coming down, even with just rain. "Are you already done packing away everything?"

 

“Almost.” Nyx says distractedly still trying to watch Pelna as he half remembers to fold what's in his hands. They're packing little care packages for people here in the lower areas. They’ve mostly got clothes, but they’ve managed to get some food together and medical supplies.

 

It’s all something Pelna remembers his mother doing when he was a boy, taking time from selling Galahd made fabrics to help people affected by the war. It took forever to remember what she showed him, but he finally got the hang of it around a year or so ago. It’s nice, he feels close to her like this, and missing her is more sweet than it is bitter.

 

How in the world someone can sew two pairs of clothes into one is mystifying to Nyx. It’s hard to keep his eyes off Pelna’s hands. It’s fascinating to watch hands that have killed so soft and meticulous, brown skin marred with many small scars, some strikingly lighter with darker edges being newer, and others more and more faded blending back into his skin with time.

 

“At least that makes one if us. I still have coats to finish.”

 

“I don't know how to use a machine, but I can still use a needle.” Nyx offers.

 

“You've already helped so much. How you got Jolene to come down on her price on the canned goods I'll never know. I've been working at her for weeks now.” They only bought so much food, some of the grocers are more helpful and just gave Pelna the damaged food they were going to throw away.

 

Nyx laughs. "It was our combined efforts." He breaks away to go finish stuffing what he can into the simple bags Pelna sewed up.

 

"Oh no she was definitely taken by you"

 

“And not by you? I find that hard to believe.” He hears the smile in Nyx’s voice.

 

Pelna smiles and doesn’t offer a retort.

 

It’s a nice reprieve to get to do this, but he’s definitely been neglecting it with everything going on.

 

______

 

The fire spell explodes and blows them all back. Pelna doesn’t know how he misfired, but maybe it’s because he was thinking of a different spell. He was supposed to be thinking fire, but his thoughts were too big and fast and scattered and somewhere in the flame lighting crackled in his palm and made something worse, something he really doesn’t practice because it usually, well turns out like this. None of them are good yet at these advanced spells that combine more than one element.

 

His ears are still ringing by the time he hears Captain Drautos call him.

 

“In my office.”

 

Pelna goes. Like all the offices in the Citadel it’s tall and long, but something about Drautos standing in the middle of it all pulls it down, makes it feel small, and suffocating. The decor is dark like everywhere else too, but splashed with red to show the Captain’s preference. Neat and orderly, and spotless, just like the captain.

 

“Khara.”Drautos says simply standing in front of his desk.

 

“Yes, Captain Drautos?

 

He’s expecting to be reprimanded by what just happened, but it’s not, he can handle being reprimanded, but not what Drautos asks next.

 

“What exactly are the details of yours and Lieutenant Elshett’s recent business?”

 

Honestly this is worse than a tongue lashing, and it almost makes Pelna crumble where he stands.

 

“Was it not explained, sir?” Pelna pretends that’s a mystery. He knows why Captain Drautos wasn’t told.

 

“No.” Drautos’ voice is violent and sharp but sitting low waiting to be kicked up. “So enlighten me.”

 

Maybe if Captain Drautos wasn’t Titus Drautos it’d be easier to lie. Pelna knows his distaste for the Crownsguard, something about them manages to ruffle his feathers. Pelna would hope like the rest of them, it’s just because they’re all Insomnian born, but no it’s much more, and Pelna is afraid he will learn exactly why soon.

 

“Well sir,” And he hopes his pause isn’t too obvious, Monica fed him the lies already, he just needs to spit themout. “Well you know of my activities sir, the coats that I make?”

 

Drautos nods. He hasn’t helped with it like Nyx, but a few times he slipped Pelna extra money for supplies, and at one time he thought that made him a good man. Maybe he still is, but right now there’s room for doubt.

 

 _‘Your Captain is also under investigation.’_ Monica had told him the other day, and Pelna admitted that Drautos was on his list of suspects.

 

“Lieutenant Eshlett and some others have taken notice, and they want to help, especially with the winter quickly approaching.” That’s true actually, but it’s oiling the lie that needs to slip past.

 

Drautos hums. “And that is all?”

 

“Yes sir, of course sir.”

 

“Carry on then. Let me know if I can be of aid.”

 

He doesn’t see it, but he hears it, just slightly, that Drautos clenches his fist in his gloves, the leather squeaking together behind his back.

 

“Of course, sir. Thank you, sir.”

 

“Dismissed.”

 

Pelna doesn’t mean to rush out, but he knows he does even though it feels like it happens in slow motion. Captain Drautos’ eyes at his back are searing and branding and it feels like something has clamped down heavy on his shoulders, even as the doors click closed he feels it. The walk down the hall from the captain’s office feels long and precarious, and he blindly finds his way into a restroom. He locks himself in a stall and lets his legs shake.

 

“Oh Six…” He whispers. He covers his mouth. “If any of you do that sort of thing, even you Ramuh, please help me withstand this. ” Galahdians aren’t in general the praying sort, and Ramuh isn’t exactly the “worship me” kind either. But Gods if his feeling is right, if his experience means anything, it will get worse before it gets better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading~ I hope you enjoyed
> 
> Feel free to stop by my tumblr where I crosspost [ scrawlingcomet ](https://scrawlingcomet.tumblr.com/)


	4. Snow Me In

_Blood splatters and freezes on the snow. Screams drown under the snowfall. Cold air clamps down on his chest and chokes his lungs._

_They stood no chance. They were old and sick but the air here was helping them. Cleigne was supposed to be safe. Out here in the deep-forested areas, at most daemons were trouble, but not magiteks, not again. They moved so strangely this time, there were less, but they crawled around broken and disjointed. Lunging unpredictably a strange thoughtlessness dragging their limbs behind them. Not again, how can this be happening again?_

_With tears stinging and chipping to ice down his face Pelna rams into them. Anger boiling his blood hot enough to keep him moving. Not again, not again, he won’t let them live. He’s bigger now, he can fight now, his limbs less knobby and gangly. He takes a sharp rock in hand and the ice on it bites and sticks to his palm and he jams it into metal. Bangs and bangs and bangs, till the metal dents and mirrors the bloody raw mess of his palms. The MT sways and rattles with him on it. Metal finally cracks open and the miasma whistles out like steam into his face._

 

Pelna starts awake, his back plastered with sweat against his sheets, his worn old ceiling greeting him above.

 

“Pelna?” Nyx’s voice cracks softly in the darkness.

 

Rolling over he clicks on his side table lamp and sees Nyx half crouched in the couch his blanket thrown up and dagger in hand.

 

“You alright?” Nyx asks relaxing his stance, his weapon vanishing in a flash of crystals.

 

Pelna isn’t sure how long he just stares at Nyx trying to find the answer to that question, but it’s long enough his cold sweat starts to make him shiver and prompt Nyx to walk over and sit at the foot of his bed.

 

“Sorry to wake you.” He finally says, and even in the dim light he sees Nyx’s mouth twitch fighting a frown

 

“Doesn’t matter. Are you okay?”

 

Pelna pushes his sheets down off himself. “Just a bad dream.” He sighs out not really looking as his feet fiddle around trying to find his house slippers on the floor.

 

“How bad a dream?” Nyx asks standing with Pelna as he finally gets his slippers on.

 

Bad enough Pelna really doesn’t want to talk about it. Bad enough his face feels warm and feverish and he stubbornly tries to hide how short and labored his breathing is. “Want some tea?” He asks making his way around the counter that modestly separates his small kitchen from the rest of the apartment.

 

“Sure.” Nyx says taking a seat on one of the simple wooden bar stools.

 

Pelna turns on the kitchen light and breaks off a piece of dried orange peel he hung up, and takes a cinnamon stick out a jar and throws them into a small pot to boil. He feels Nyx’s eyes follow him, then break away, then back on him. He knows he’s trying not to stare, but the air is compressing trying to squeeze words out of the both of them. He ignores it and watches the fire on the stove burn blue and small.

 

He hates dreaming of memories, because even if he manages to change the ending, and he used to when he was younger, nothing actually changes. That dream specifically feels like the worst of them. He doesn’t even have dreams of when Galahd fell. Sure the memory haunts him when he’s awake, and no he could never be prepared for what happened, but they knew they were close to the firefight. He’s not the lone survivor in this case, he can always talk to other’s about Galahd. He was supposed to be safe with his grandparents. They were so far from the conflict. But it was such an isolated and hopeless incident. It wasn’t a planned attack, something about the thoughtless random nature of it makes his limbs feel weak and heavy, it makes him feel utterly helpless and small.

 

He keeps his back facing Nyx, till a spicy sweet smell blossoms in the air and the cinnamon stick uncurls itself relaxing in the water gone a deep amber.

 

“Sugar?” Pelna finally asks pouring the tea carefully into two cups.

 

“No thanks.”

 

Pelna places Nyx’s in front of him on the counter and then turns back around to drop one healthy spoonful of sugar into his own cup. He doesn’t turn back to Nyx and instead finds himself staring out the kitchen window. He can see Nyx’s reflection.

 

Nyx has stopped watching him and watches his tea instead.

 

Pelna is a few sips in when Nyx decides to take one long careless gulp of his tea. He can’t help but turn to look at him at that. Nyx exhales sharply and makes a pained regretful face, but doesn’t say anything and waits another moment and does it again. Wordlessly he gets up and heads over to the sink to wash and dry his cup.

 

Nyx comes to stand in front of Pelna, not so close that he’s crowding him, but close. His blue eyes are soft looking down at him, tinged red because it’s the middle of the night, but full of concern. “I get it, you don’t have to tell me about it. I have those dreams too. Just know that you can, whenever you feel like it.”

 

Pelna nods but a prickly tense feeling hunches his back.

 

“Take your time, it’s okay to.” A sweet small smile wins over the frown he’s been fighting.

 

Pelna would hug him if that wouldn’t squeeze his tears right out. He doesn’t want to cry again, he’d be useless for later in the morning if he did now. He knows he would cry till sunrise if he let himself, but maybe another time.

 

“Just get some more rest, we have a long day later.” Nyx says for him, and maybe he knows if Pelna spoke those tears glossing his eyes would stream out and never stop.

 

So he nods again. Nyx says goodnight and tucks himself in on the couch.

 

Pelna drinks as much tea as he can but he stares too long at where the top of Nyx’s head pokes out over the armrest, and his drink turns cold and syrupy halfway in his mug. Another time he’ll let it out, because if he does now, he’ll have to admit, thick and raw, that this particular dream, this very real nightmare only comes to him in the winter, and the winter is unforgiving in what it takes.

 

______

It’s cold enough to wear a few layers, but with all the walking and talking they’re doing this morning, Nyx has freed himself of his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. The sun shines down brightly on them. They’re distributing all the care packages Pelna has been working on. Libertus and Crowe, and some of the other Kingsglaive have joined them. There are a few stray Crownsguard with them, but Nyx has to bite his tongue from pointing out that Lieutenant Eshlett is the only one of them willingly here. It may be in part a front, but it’s very real, and donations nearly tripled what Pelna is able to distribute this year.

 

An old woman holds Pelna by his elbow smiling up at him from where she sits. Nyx remembers her name being Aida, her almost toothless smile is bright. Her grandchildren have coats that will last them years to come now, she herself sporting Pelna’s handiwork from last year when he started this. Before he can think to object she drops a plastic bag full of fruit into his and pats his face with all the firm tenderness any mother would. He smiles and kisses the cheek she offers to him and then waves goodbye.

 

“So this is how you ended up with so much food last year.” Nyx says catching up to him and relieving him of some of the new bags he’s hanging from his arms.

 

Pelna chuckles. “And we’ll make another banquet of it.”

 

Nyx inspects some of the bags, and realizes one is so heavy because it has two full bottles of wine, cheap wine, but wine. “I don’t think the Kingsglaive will even be able to finish this.”

 

He sees Pelna think on it, his eyes rolling up like he’s counting in his head, then he turns and smiles at him. “No, in fact I don’t think there will even be leftovers.” He says so sure.

 

They make it back to one of the vans the Lieutenant got ahold of , and there’s way less space inside than when they started.

 

“Okay maybe I take that back.” Pelna laughs trying to squeeze stuff into the back.

 

“You might have to stop taking gifts.”

 

Pelna’s voice comes muffled halfway into all the produce. “And insult them?” He squeezes back out and takes what Nyx holds. “Look I did that once by mistake when I was younger. You don’t want someone’s nice grandma to swear you as her enemy, Nyx.”

 

Nyx closes the trunk for them as Pelna gives him this disbelieving squinty look.

 

He thinks about it for a moment, the manners his mother tries desperately to instill in him. The respect for your elder’s thing, and how he didn’t eat one time at a friend of his mother’s, she was politely colder to him after that. Yeah, Pelna might have a point.

 

Monica approaches them flipping through some papers on a clipboard, just as Pelna takes out his own. “We’re about wrapped up on our end. How about you?”

 

“About the same.” He says absentmindedly clicking his pen. Crowe, Libertus, and the other Kingsglaive members show up then, all of them with arms filled with more things than when they left.

 

Monica can’t seem to help but stare. It’s clear no one in the community here feels particularly thankful to the Crownsguard, as they start filing in empty handed.

 

“I hope you all have room in your vans.” Pelna says half laughing seeing that Crowe is managing to eat some fruit by propping it against the small tower of boxes in her arms.

 

“Is it always like this, Pelna?” Libertus asks around a small mountain of boxes and bags in his arms

 

“Well it’s only the second year, but since it’s repeated, yes. Also you will all probably have some more ‘thank you gifts’ at your doorsteps for the next few weeks.

 

“We need to go over some paperwork, before you’re officially done, Khara.” Monica says to him, giving him a knowing look over her clipboard. She doesn’t look at Nyx, but he knows he’s been addressed to.

 

“Of course, Lieutenant Eshlett.” Pelna says. Everything gets oriented the best it can be to still let them sit and they all start piling in. “Everyone take what you want home, especially the perishables. We’ll store the rest of the warehouse and make use of it later.” He hears Crowe’s excited “yes” hiss out from inside the van.

______

“And people we’ve hired to help build inventory in the year will be paid a fair livable wage.”

 

“By livable, do you mean closer to mine or closer to yours, Lieutenant Eshlett?”

 

A smile cracks Monica’s face. “Actually livable, so closer to mine, as we discussed.” It’s all true but they’re just trying to bore the last few stragglers out. Finally the last Crownsguard soldier leaves, resigning to himself that it’s okay to take some of the food.

 

The Kingsglaive were easier to usher out, they were excited to go celebrate on a job well done over cheap wine. Pelna and Nyx promise they’ll join them soon.

 

Then it is just the three of them.

 

“We really have to do something about how we Kingsglaive are paid. “ Nyx says watching over his shoulder to make sure they’re totally alone.

 

They go further into the warehouse into a backroom and file all their papers.

 

“You really think this is a good cover?” Nyx asks Pelna more than he does Monica.

 

“I can check on _inventory_ weekly, daily even, if I need to. I just won’t have to until the season for it kicks in.” Pelna is saying two things Nyx realizes. He doesn’t have to say it that way, but there are two truths being told.

 

“Alright.” Nyx nods and looks at Monica. “Let’s begin then.”

 

The first official meeting is just an exchange of information. Nyx will appear casually involved in Pelna’s sweater cause, and Monica and a portion of the Crownsguard funds will sponsor it. There will be actual periodic handouts with the aid of donations, and some local personnel, but mostly Kingsglaive and Crownsguard. The investigation will be weaved into all of this, allowing Pelna some freedom without seeming too suspicious. It will work, Monica assures them.

 

______

 

“Where did you even get time to make it?” Nyx asks gesturing to the small blanket gift wrapped under his harm.

 

“As soon as we got back.” Pelna says watching the elevator numbers tick up.

 

“I don’t think that answers my question…” Nyx adjusts the flowers in his arms.

 

The elevator dings open and they step out.

 

“I’m just good at making time.” Pelna lightly swings the bag of fruit in his grip as they walk down the hall.

 

He hums thoughtfully at that.

 

They’re visiting Andrea in the hospital. She was heavily injured in her stomach, and heavily medicated the following weeks after. Now she’s better enough to talk to them. Even so her room isn’t barren, filled mostly with flowers. Nyx finds a spot for the bouquet they brought and notices about half the flowers seem to be signed from Mara.

 

“Oh Pelna, it’s lovely.” Nyx turns in time to see Andrea finish unwrapping the blanket Pelna made. She holds it up running her hands along it to feel the softness. “This is so sweet, thank you.”

 

“Happy you like it.” Pelna says helping her put it over her shoulders. The deep rich olive color brings out the golden warmth in her brown skin, makes her look less sickly and wrung out.

 

“I really needed it, these hospital blankets are so itchy and thin.”

 

“We heard you’re good to eat solids now too.” Nyx says taking the bag of fruit from Pelna and holding it open in front of her.

 

She makes an excited noise, it’s a little weak, but her smile makes up for it. “You guys are the best. Thank you so much.”

 

Andrea gets about halfway done with all the fruit when she gets tired and has to lie down. They throw away the fruit scraps for her and put the bag on her meal table.

“Mara,” she begins, droopy eyes fixed on the potted orchids by her bedside “, said in her first letter she’d be away for a while. She only asks me about how I’m doing….” She laughs softly. “She never answers my questions. Do either of you know what she’s up to?”

 

Pelna shakes his head. “All we know is she’s somewhere in Cleigne, sorry.”

 

“No, it’s fine. She’s always doing something important.” Andrea gingerly rolls onto her back pulling the blanket tighter around herself and looks up to them.

 

“Can I ask you two something?”

 

They both nod at her.

 

“Now I swear,” and she takes a very deep slow breath, “ I swear this isn’t the sleep or medicine talking. It’s just been bothering me. Don’t you think the mission was strange?”

 

Nyx breathe catches and he hears Pelna gasp softly.

 

“W-what?” Pelna just barely whispers, but in the quiet room it’s loud enough.

 

“Like,” and she furrows her brows her tired face trying its best to look focused, “didn’t it seem like we were expected?”

 

Pelna’s hand discreetly finds Nyx”s wrists and squeezes it.

 

Andrea makes a grumbling sound. “Maybe it **is** the medicine talking.” She already doubts herself, but Nyx feels the tremor starting in Pelna.

 

“Did you, did you say this to anyone else?” Pelna asks almost sounding breathless.

 

She doesn’t seem to notice that her eyes already closed and she slurs out a “no.” He knows her report hasn’t been submitted considering her hospitalization, they’ll be asking for it once she’s more lucid.

 

They wait a moment still her breathing evens and then leave, gently closing the door.

 

“I knew I always liked her.” Nyx says half bewildered staring at the hospital room door.

 

Pelna lets go of his wrist and covers his face with both hands letting out a sigh of relief. Honestly, up till now he was sure he was half hallucinating. He pushes his palms harder against his forehead he’s getting dizzy again. “Do you think any of us would’ve noticed if just one more of us survived?”

 

Nyx looks at Pelna still covering his face. Who’s he to say? He didn’t think about it till Pelna said something. He can’t imagine what’s been right under his nose till now. “You’ve got to give yourself credit where you deserve it Pelna.” He rests his hand on his shoulder. “Alright?”

 

Pelna peeks over his hands at him. “Yeah...”

______

They find Crowe and the others on Lib’s roof halfway through the food and drink they took. There are more of the Kingsglaive crew than earlier. The more the merrier, right?

 

Luche sits red-faced and sneering at nothing over his cup, he’s always sneering, but usually at someone. Sonitus and Axis are hanging onto each other and laughing at their own laughs stacking them on top of each other. Tredd is playing a very dangerous game of testing Crowe’s impulse control to not literally light his ass on fire. Most everyone else is half asleep sinking down with the sunset.

 

“Guess we missed the party.” Nyx observes throwing his arm around Libertus’ slackened shoulders to give him a quick hug.

 

Libertus hands them both something that’s dark red like wine, but is drowning in a pungent fruitiness that almost hides that it tastes like really bad lighter fuel. “How’s Andrea doing? I went a few days ago but she was still sedated.”

 

Pelna doesn’t taste what he drinks, even though it burns and peels the skin down his throat. “She’s doing much better. I’m sure she’ll be discharged soon.” He’s debating it to himself, if he should say anything or just find a way to keep an eye on her report. Would asking her to not mention her suspicions make it bad for them? Will she even remember what she said this afternoon? 

 

“She’ll probably get stuck with some desk duty when she gets back. No way they’ll let her back on the field any time soon.” Nyx says coming back with two plates filled mostly with chips that have gone stale sitting in open air, and some grilled meats still modestly warm. He hands one to Pelna.

 

“Those were some nasty wounds. I knew MTs could be brutal, but not by that much. It was almost precise…almost.” Libertus looks down at his cup swirling his drink around watching stray pieces of fruit float around in it.

 

They look at each other, choosing instead to just chew on their food.

______

The ringtone goes off like a siren and rips Pelna out of his sleep. He barely saves it from clattering to the floor as it vibrates wildly from all the notifications coming through.

 

“Mara’s been arrested!” Nyx says before Pelna can say hello.

 

He tries to scrub away some of the sleep burning his eyes. “…what?”

 

“They’re saying it’s treason.”

 

Pelna pulls the phone away and squints at it. It’s two in the morning and there are too many texts and news alerts sounding off. He blinks a few times because maybe it’s another bad dream…it’s not.

 

Nyx’s voice quietly calls his name through the receiver.

 

He thinks to tell Nyx he’ll call Monica, but just as he finishes the thought he gets a text from her.

 

_‘An overnight truck is dropping off some inventory at 4. You’re going to need to sign off on it and receive the shipment.’_

Get to the warehouse by then, got it.

 

“Nyx,” He says softly into the phone stopping the urgent pleas Nyx has been repeating, “I need some help unpacking some overnight inventory.”

 

It takes a moment but then it clicks. “Sure, I’ll meet you there.” Talking in code actually isn’t strange, they usually have to when they’re deployed, but having to behind the wall, it makes him nervous.

 

Pelna squeezes himself under his bed and finds the floorboard where he keeps the drives and fishes them out. He already plans on spending the whole night combing through things once Monica fills in the gaps.

 

He bundles himself up tight and walks out into the chilly night air.

 

______

 

There is a shipping van when Pelna and Nyx make it to the warehouse. It’s much colder here at night, because they’re closer to the docks and the sea brings in a wet chill. Salt and ice burn in his nose. He resists pushing himself into Nyx for warmth. The mounting gravity of the situation has his heart racing, and his muscles sizzling and twitchy to run, whether that is forward or away.

 

Although, he regrets not sticking close Nyx when he gets into the back office, because Cor the fucking Immortal is there, and he visibly jumps back at the sight of him, almost knocking into Nyx.

 

Marshal Leonis notices, it’s clear by the way his eyebrow flicks up, but he doesn’t say anything and just keeps frowning at the papers he’s flipping through.

 

“Good. You’re here early.” Monica chimes in coming out of the storage closet juggling some large overstuffed folders.

 

“I thought Ulric wasn’t officially involved.” The Marshal observes looking at his lieutenant.

 

“Had much the same thought about you, Sir.” Nyx says easily, already draping his coat over one of the chairs.

 

Pelna just barely, barely, keeps himself from hissing at Nyx’s lack of manners and self-preservation.

 

The Marshal snorts and stops it at that. Thankfully. And flops his papers on a small tower of boxes that weren’t in the office earlier.

 

Monica just ignores the exchange and looks directly at Pelna. “We don’t know yet.” She plops her folders on the desk and starts fishing around.

 

Pelna just finishes hanging his own coat at that. “I’m sorry, what do…”

 

“I lied when I said only two other people poked their noses into that classified report before.” She finds what she’s looking for and hands them to him. “Andrea got a head start on you, immediately after you filed your reports she found the same document, came with the same suspicions. Except she had an idea of a place to start looking.”

 

Pelna reads the documents carefully, a good portion of them are hand written, he recognizes them as Andrea’s script. “So, she wasn’t in Cleigne, at all.” He realizes piecing it together. Nyx comes to stand next to him looking at the papers over his shoulder.

 

“Not at all. She’s been working for us. The official cover is that she was in Cleigne taking on slower, easier work. That the recent mission was too traumatizing.”

 

“Captain Drautos know the cover or the actual plan?” Nyx asks, because either way he had to sign off on one version of events.

 

“The cover.” And for a second when she says that the air feels sharp and dangerous. Then it is gone because she swallows the rest of her anger and frustration.

 

That familiar cold hollow icy feeling grips the back of Pelna’s neck. “So what do we do next?”

 

“We get information.” Monica says as if it’s that simple, and maybe it is, because she’s an expert at it, but Pelna and Nyx are still new at it, in the way that it needs to be gathered.

 

They make a plan, but they don’t have the chance to catch their breath the Kingsglaive gets the order to deploy to Tenebrae before the sun finishes rising.

 

______

By the time dawn comes they’re already flying halfway outside of Insomnia. With the sunlight more red than orange, Pelna hopes it seems like he’s shaking from the freshly fallen snow and nothing else.


	5. Devil Peeking Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for beta reading this chapter [ Intergalactic_Octopus](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Intergalactic_Octopus)

No one directly asks him, but all he hears over the hollow hum of the plane is “Mara, Mara, Mara.” Nyx manages to ignore all the whispering about her by watching Pelna ignore all the whispering as he finds many things suddenly wrong with his uniform jacket and in need of mending. He’s trying hard not to imagine what Pelna’s feeling. Sure he’s involved in all this too, but he doesn’t bear the same responsibility, he didn’t poke his nose in first, he doesn’t see where the dots connect without Pelna pointing them out.

 

Frankly, he thinks if it were the other way around he’d be on a murderous warpath biting and lashing out at everyone. If it were the other way around Nyx thinks he’d be out for the count by now, that he would’ve shown his hand too early too easily with paranoia edging at the corners of his vision. It’s not the other way around though, and just the thought of it means Nyx understands that Pelna just appears calm, so he’ll have the decency to actually be calm for him, because one of them needs to.

 

He’ll help Pelna, he won’t just stand and watch him shatter if he falls. He’ll stop him from ever tipping over. So he sits next to him here in the transport as they fly over out of Lucis and he soaks up the brunt of the whispers, the brunt of whatever he can, for Pelna.

______

After another hour they make it to their rendezvous point and Nyx feels Pelna briefly seize up and then school himself seeing Captain Drautos waiting for their team. He rarely ever joins them on the field, but then again there will be a battle today. Most of their missions usually split them up and he’ll command from behind the scenes, if he needs to. This time it’s the bulk of all able Kingsglaive members. Hopefully this doesn’t cost them everything.

 

“I don’t think I need to stress how important it is that we help Tenebrae hold the line.” He pauses after that looking over his troops. “Niflheim has been reported using Bombs to burn the kingdom down, as well as MTs prone to self destruction and resistant to fire. Heavily armored troopers with large swords have started pouring in. Use the greenery to your advantage.”

 

Under the night sky the fires burn bright and orange off in the distance. Smoke hangs heavy, cloying, and stinging and slithers against their skin.

 

Otho gets their attention for a moment, clicking his radio off. “Brandt is reported to be coordinating the attack, Captain Drautos.”

 

He let’s out something of a laugh. “They must not want to win.” He says more to himself than anyone else. “Brandt is typically weak on defenses, he’s likely sent out the bulk of his forces now. He will be susceptible to hit and run tactics. However, he tends to save his heavy guns for the end, do not let the tide of battle change if he chooses to use them.”

 

Captain Drautos pauses again and looks at them. “For hearth and home.” He says with a steely smile on his face.

 

“Sir!” They all say in unison saluting with fits over their hearts.

 

The mage units are ordered to quell fires and be creative with their shields. Every one else takes to the trees.

______

Winter is slower to reach Tenebrae, the weather stays warmer longer, and a little dryer, but it is coming. It’s still sharply cold and windy, and Nyx can’t stop rubbing his nose because it’s gone dry and itchy from the weather.

 

Though the many trees and shrubs pack densely together the space between gives way for a strange wispy song to be sung by the wind as it streams through.

 

Nyx resists the urge to lighten the mood and ask Pelna if he’s cold, because he looks downright miserable his usual fatigues not enough to keep the wind from blowing down to his bones, but he takes it out on their enemies, flattening them faster than they can think to move.

 

He and Pelna trap a few of those explosive MTs in shields by closing them off into spheres they reduce some of the damage done to the forest.

 

Now and then the battle lulls with the daemons and MTs being released in waves, and they drop down from the trees and warp back up as soon as they die.

 

It’s easy to weave up and around the trees. There are natural gaps in the way the trees grow up thick and close like vines, there are plenty of places to hold and tuck into.

 

It goes smoothly, too smoothly, and then something big falls down and shakes them all out of the trees. It moves like an unsteady skyscraper, twisted and sharp. Two more fall down after it. They stab with their leathery wings and walk through fire. There is something strangely intelligent in their eyes on their small grinning faces. Nyx thinks that maybe once or twice an almost human laugh carries across the battlefield booming and harrowing.

 

They lose touch with Captain Drautos engaging these daemons, but then General Glauca falls to the ground, and it shakes then too, it’s a smaller tremor, but Nyx feels like he keeps falling.

______

 

The world goes still and silent with Glauca’s descent like it’s afraid to make a sound in his presence. No more daemons scream. The fires are too far to hear burning wood crackle. It’s only Glauca, his heavy thunderous stomp pummels the soil. Every move, every attack, is crushing. Blood stains the metal suit and it gleams brighter for it.

 

Pelna tries to stop him, tries to warp in time to grab him, because he sees the feral electric thing that posses Nyx’s senses, spark in his eyes as they settle on Glauca. It took almost ten of them to bring down just one of those horrible daemons that looked like sinew twisted around sickles, but Nyx can’t stop and shoots lighting as soon as Glauca knocks away the Glaives that went for him.

 

There’s just a second, where Pelna thinks he’s already died, because Sonitus, Axis and Tredd get knocked down without even scratching the General, and they hit the hardest. What hope is there that he’s not already caught in limbo reliving a nightmare? So he does the stupid brave thing and goes to Nyx’s aid.

 

Again, and again, and again, and _fucking_ again they fall back. Pelna’s muscles burn, he’s bruised, blood stains his teeth, his skin feels half singed and half numb. Someone else has fallen gutted and bleeding too fast for a phoenix down to bring them back. But then it’s there, a moment, an opening. He yells and Nyx stretches his hand back and Pelna warps him to where he sees it.

 

Nyx uses the momentum of Pelna’s warp and throws himself fast and hard at Glauca dressing his kukri in lightning and stabbing to crack open the armor. For a second it works. Glauca convulses lightning running from his head to his toes and pinning him where he stands. But it is only that second and then armor crawls and mends itself over the scorched wound. Then he swings his sword down on Nyx, metal meets metal and Pelna hears something snap.

 

The remaining Kingsglaive take the chance and overwhelm Glauca. Pelna reasons he’s just being smart, and not a coward as the General retreats jetting away just out of reach of their warp. He plays with them even then, zigzagging to throw off their estimations. And then he is gone swallowed by an imperial airship. Pelna has to reason that, because the rest of his army is dead, and he’s thankful beyond words they don’t have to keep fighting him. The General was like a force of nature, and crashed down like a rockslide. He ran through almost half of their troops before they even got this slight advantage.

 

He finds and breaks a potion onto Nyx before he can even get up, he doesn’t want to be a second too late in healing whatever snapped a few minutes ago. By the way he jumps up of the ground from the sudden rush of magic, it’s just in time.

 

______

Niflheim retreats, the battle is won.

 

Otho finally appears with their Captain slung across his shoulders. His pale face is a bright red from the exertion and frustration. Grumbles something about scared chikatrice running away from all the fire and noise. He shouts at them all for not restocking remedies, and shouts even louder for them to ignore the fact that their captain is both battered and laughing uncontrollably inflicted by a bout of Confusion. 

______

Almost twenty minutes later the confusion finally wears off but no one says a thing about it. Nope. Not a thing. Especially not about the overly friendly crushing hugs Titus gave out beaming at every single one of them. It’s easier to just clean up and stop any more fires from starting, make sure all the enemies are actually down, set up barriers to keep daemons at bay, tend to their wounded. That’s the easy part.

______

 

Tenebrae reminds Pelna he only knows so much about magic, because portions of land just float, right up out of the mountains. Everything is still so strangely lush and green and Pelna can feel the magic humming with his in harmony, keeping everything warm. Waterfalls flow out from seemingly nowhere and stream and stream into even clear waters. Most of them have never been here before, and it’s so strange to look at only knowing the cold overstretched metal of Insomnia.

 

Mangroves stretch up blending into towers, and build foundations with the mountains, where buildings and spires are carved out of. Shrubs poke out of archways and windows. The higher they go the more fragmented the kingdom becomes, floating and floating, till they reach the much larger chunk of Zoldara Henge where Fenestala Manor sits carved and nestled.

 

There isn’t much to clean up or mend up here. The assault was focused on trying to burn down their foundation, and the air support never got to take root.

 

Queen Sylva is more than grateful. She looks worn and tired, but only just so, because like all royalty, dignity wins over it all. And like all royalty she is a grand host. There is enough food and space for what remains of them.

 

______

“And you are certain they will not return for a secondary assault, Captain Drautos?” Queen Sylva asks sitting on her throne, her attendants, and the most able of the Kingsglaive present. Her son Prince Ravus sticks stubbornly close to her, with his arms crossed mustering the meanest expression a fresh baby faced teenager can. Princess Lunafreya is much more polite and diplomatic about, not at all shy, but also not scowling and miserable.

 

“With the utmost certainty, your Grace.” There’s something in his expression that’s almost happy about all this. He only ever looks like that when he gets involved into the bureaucratic side of this war. Why he seems to enjoy the little song and dance of politics Pelna will never understand. “They left with nothing, it’d be too much of a drain on resources to come back so soon.”

 

Queen Sylva’s measures him for a moment. “It was a surprise attack, Captain Drautos. Without the swift aid of your Kingsglaive we surely would not have survived. Frankly, it is a wonder the forest still stands and did not wither away to charcoal during the initial assault.”

 

“If it will ease her Majesty’s mind, we can spare another day or so while Tenebrae regroups.”

 

Her highness does that graceful half nod Pelna has seen King Regis do a few times before. “That would be most appreciated. I will have to thank his majesty for his generosity. ”

 

Drautos clicks his boots together and bows with his arms crossed behind his back. The rest of them bow with him. “Of course your Grace.”

______

They are all up again only a few hours after lights out, Pelna wishes he could sleep longer. The bed is impossibly soft and he feels melted and smothered into it. His aches are gone and it’s almost as if yesterday didn’t happen.

 

The palace is a marvel. Air should be thin up here, or that’s what Pelna is expecting, but the lush greenery so intertwined with the architecture he has no trouble at all. He only gets so long to take it in and then gets set on patrol duty. Not down back on the ground at least, other’s take care of that, he’s meant to watch the sky, make sure no Nif has crawled up the spires and into the palace.

 

It’s well into the evening that he’s rotated out and meets Nyx for dinner.

______

They find a small open area, with nowhere really to sit except the stone railing. There’s something enchanting about being so high up in the open air. The breeze is chilling though, so Nyx offers Pelna his own jacket to double up with. There’s no one else around where they are to tease them so he accepts it.

 

It’s brief, he knows it’s brief, but it feels eternal. His eyes zero in on Nyx’s hands buttoning the first few around the collar so the jacket stays on him. Through the layers he feels the movement, the warmth, and his own fingers twitch under the plates he holds, wanting.

 

Then it’s over, but the sunset falls into romantic pinks and purples so maybe it’s not quite over.

 

Pelna braces the small of his back against the railing, but Nyx hops up onto it and sits cross-legged.

 

“I didn’t expect a lot of meat, but does this really count as meat at all?” Nyx forks the very small bird that’s been cut open and roasted. Everything else is just one big salad. Olives of different colors seasoned and tossed with herbs, many edible flowers, stray pieces of cheese, one part drizzled with honey, another with something very sharp, acidic, and purple.

 

“Maybe the closer you get to the ground the more meat. Besides, this is palace food, isn’t it?”

 

Nyx only hums and flicks some of his olives onto Pelna’s plate.

 

“Hey wait! I don’t like those.” Pelna protests turning his plate away and half guarding with his arm raised over it.

 

Nyx squints at him like he doesn’t believe him. “But you’re dancing around them like you do with peanuts.”

 

Pelna’s smile breaks out wobbly wanting to both smile and scowl. “Because I can’t eat them fast enough to just be done with them.”

 

Nyx’s face drops down into a pout, and he pokes his fork into Pelna’s plate to retrieve the ones he threw over. He can’t waste food, even if he doesn’t like it. “Sorry.” He takes a few extra just for good measure.

 

Pelna laughs softly.

 

If either of them take a moment to smile hopeless and bright at each other, neither of them mention it.

______

It’s with the moon high and full in the sky, and when they’ve returned their trays to the canteen and are making their way through the halls that they really start speculating.

 

“Would he really just humiliate himself like that?” Nyx asks not naming names, but they both know they speak of their captain.

 

“Is he the sort of man not to? Is he not a skilled tactician? Why wouldn’t he appear humiliated just to throw people off his scent?” That burning copper scent that clung to Nyx after he engaged with Glauca. Strangely a smell he’s familiar with.

 

“What do you think of _her,_ though?” He’s asking about Mara. “She and a lot of our senior Glaives a from Cavaugh too. Do we suspect her too? The rest of them?”

 

“We have to be careful about where we cast our suspicious. But we’ll have to see why exactly she’s had a target placed on her back.” It’s too convenient. They were coming together and suddenly she’s brought back, and now they’re here in another kingdom before they can even understand what she’s been charged with. On who’s call was she marked as a traitor?

 

It doesn’t sit right. In fact is sits balled, slimy, and heavy in Pelna’s stomach.

______

 

They round a corner and something shimmers in the darkness catching Pelna’s eye. It’s quick but something tells him to chase it. Nyx makes to ask, but Pelna’s eyes are frosting over, so he follows instead.

 

A closed door greets them, and it’s too quiet, then they hear a weak cry crawl up out of the wood. Then the fresh raw smell of blood hits them before they kick the door in.

 

Then they see it, Glauca’s sword pulling back to swing down on Queen Sylva holding in her guts with her body loosely crumpled against a chair. Light blue magic flickers in her palm, she’s trying to do something, anything.

 

Ice and lightning move their bodies before thoughts and words. Pelna freezes Glauca’s arms and warps himself between Glauca and the Queen throwing up a shield, as Nyx throws his entire body wrapped in lightning against the General. He slashes him clean across his helm, lightning chaining and clawing and pulls away some of the metal, and it’s very brief, in a wink really that they both catch his eye, blue and jaded and very much one they know. Metal slithers over it in an instant, so maybe, and a small part of that maybe is hopeful, it was an illusion.

 

It’s Nyx that manages to scream for help, and it’s Nyx that follows him out the window across spires and stone, beyond the sky. Pelna turns to the Queen behind his shield, trying desperately to not to panic, because, shit. Shit, Sylva is pale and cold, and they only have simple basic potions.

 

 _‘Gods, please.’_ He begs, because it can’t be too late. Potion after potion tumbles out, and he cracks one, and maybe it helps, a little bit, he can’t tell because her white dress has gone red. No, it’s not, it’s not, because she’s faltering and slipping, and turning to ice.

 

Everything is gray. Everything is dim. Everything is helpless, and Pelna can’t do anything about his shaking hands.

 

He doesn’t sigh in relief when the feather comes into his hand, burning hot and vibrating in his palm. Pelna shoves the phoenix down into her weak grasp, makes both her hands hold it, and slides them up to her chest. He prays, and he prays, and he prays, small desperate whispers till it hums. Then it burns up in a flash spreads across her and warmth returns to her skin.

 

Color blooms back into everything.

 

Queen Sylva nods up at him. He very carefully props her against him just as her own guard and some Glaives rush in.

 

He refuses to leave her side.

 

Everything is red. Everything is warping. Everything is too much, and sews anger into his shaking hands.

 

Something’s clicked.

 

And hopefully no one notices just for a second he stares down Captain Drautos when he does finally show up halfway to taking her to a hospital wing. He smells of blood, fresh blood, sticking and burning into rust all over him. He insists on keeping guard with Pelna.

______

When most of the questions have stopped, and Queen Sylva finally sleeps, Nyx shows up. Bruised with faint scars closed up by magic. There is murder in his eyes, bitter and sharp, and Pelna sees the strain clenched tight in his expression from doing the same brief stare down at Titus as he did earlier.

 

Fighting Glauca, actually fighting him one on one, was like fighting their Captain. He is physically bruised, and he desperately keeps himself from going tense. He says to Titus with all his self control that Glauca gave chase until the same imperial airship from earlier came for him far beyond the city itself. Then he was gone. Out there with no one to see.

______

“I was just in my study. And then like some sort of phantom he was there. He didn’t make a sound.” Queen Sylva explains to them only a few hours later. With the help of the potions she only needed a little rest.

 

“But how did he break our perimeter?” Otho asks standing beside Titus putting together what he can into a report.

 

Pelna bites the inside of his cheek.

 

“What exactly prompted you two to check on the Queen?” Titus looks to Pelna and Nyx.

 

“We didn’t exactly know we were checking on her.” Nyx says, looking just past the Captain’s head so it seems like he’s looking at him.

 

Pelna does the same. “Something just felt off, Sir. We followed instinct and then smelt blood.”

 

The air prickles for a moment, but then Titus hums. “Dismissed.”

 

“Actually,” Sylva interjects, “I would prefer for them to stay, for the time being. They sent the General running. I’m sure I can expect that from the rest of your forces, even you Captain. But for now, if you will allow it, I am quite comfortable with them.”

 

Titus smiles a small diplomatic thing. “Who am I to deny a Queen?”

______

It takes a few more days but no other incident occurs, and the Queen is up without a fuss. What exactly happened doesn’t leak down to the rest of the kingdom. At most everyone believes Glauca tried to salvage the assault but fled, but no word that the Queen almost died. It’s fine enough.

 

They return to Insomnia. 

______

Pelna has taken to grinding his teeth in his sleep again. His jaw keeps locking, and is tense when he wakes. He feels restless. It used to happen more when he was younger, that was how all the stress manifested. He could’ve sworn he was better at handling it, but things have never been so…it’s just too much to know that everything is crumbling, has been crumbling.

 

So he leans his forehead against Nyx’s chest as they wait here in the warehouse office for Monica to show up. The sweater Nyx wears is coarse and poor for absorbing liquid, so Pelna stops himself from crying and let’s Nyx rub small soothing circles into his back.

 

“All this fucking time.” Nyx grumbles.

 

“I know…” Pelna says weakly and buries face deeper, pressing his face till his nose bends uncomfortably.

 

“He stood there, a dozen times over, and lied to us.”

 

“I know…”

 

“Why?”

 

“…I don’t know.”

 

“We’ll stop him.”

 

“We need proof.”

 

“We’ll find it.” And Nyx sounds so sure. So absolutely sure, that he’s promising it without calling it a promise. Pelna hugs him tight. He’s sure he’s trembling, but he believes him, sincerely.

 

He looks up at Nyx and nods at him. “We’ll find it. Whatever, wherever , we will.” Pelna is tempted then, to reach up and trace those little arrows inked into Nyx’s face. He’s familiar with them. His mother had two on her hands. Many years ago she liked the idea of protecting Galahd, she did in the end, but somewhere in the middle she found a different way to fulfill her calling.

 

It’s almost strange how different it is, the things they have left of their home. It shouldn’t be strange, because they’re different people. But the culture they share only so much of it interlocks.

 

He's tempted to laugh now, instead of just wanting, because now they’re sworn to protect another land, another home, someone else, a prince, and his future.

 

But they’ve made it their home too, right?

 

He pulls away from Nyx but holds him by his elbows, gives a small squeeze. Insomnia can be home. Galahd can and does exist here. They will protect it.

 

“We’re going to stop this, before it all goes to shit.”

 

Nyx snorts and smiles fondly. He likes when Pelna lets out a curse. He really likes that brave thing in Pelna, that’s glossing his eyes, and moving him forward, in spite of all his fear. “Yeah.”


	6. Choking Hold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for waiting for the next update, hope y'all enjoy  
> btw vomit warning for this chapter

**_|Gray cat, gray cat, caught a cicada today,_ **

**_|Broke its shell and dust flew out, once, twice, thrice._ **

**M.E. 743/11/20**

**_| Gray cat, gray cat, see caterpillars stampede,_ **

**_| To the east they gobble up the trees._ **

**M.E. 734/11/25**

**_| Gray cat, gray cat, a red mountain pokes out a ring of swords,_ **

**_|Lavender clouds sit on its peak, crystals crumble at its feet._ **

**M.E. 734/12/09**

“All of Mara’s reports to Monica are written like poems.” Pelna says to Nyx who’s leaned over burying his face into a box of documents beside him.

 

“It’s code right?”

 

“Yeah…I have ask Monica what some of it means. Gray cat must be Monica.”

 

Pelna makes some notes in his journal. ‘ _Caterpillars sounds like transport or trains? Is the mountain Glauca?_ ’ Nothing on these is noted in any way, probably just in case someone who shouldn’t see it, sees it.

 

He doesn’t’ get to ask her, not immediately.

 

“We still don’t know.” Monica says upon entry and immediately dropping into a seat. The sour look doesn’t really fit right on her round gentle face, even if her slight wrinkles say she’s made the expression a dozen times over.

 

“But it’s almost been two full weeks.” Pelna says disbelievingly coming around from behind the desk to stand in front of her. Nyx stays seated on the edge of the table where he’s been sitting on for the last twenty minutes.

 

“We’ve been trying to get jurisdiction to conduct an investigation. The Kingsglaive brought Mara in, and your Captain is insisting this is an internal affair. So the investigation will be handled _internally_.” Bitterness edges her words.

 

Pelna looks back at Nyx with a frown.

 

“He can keep saying that for only so long.” Pelna reasons and looks back to Monica.

 

“I know. It’s a waiting game when we don’t have time to spare.” She stands up seeming to decide she’s sat long enough.

 

“Marshal Leonis can’t pull his rank here?” Nyx asks.

 

“When he gets back he’ll try. Don’t know how long his current mission will take, but then that’s part of the issue isn’t it?”

 

“Somehow one of us has to try get to her, don’t we?” Pelna crosses his arms tightly. Titus must know that him and Nyx know the truth about him or that they suspect him, how can they possibly get near?

 

“Into the fire then, right?” Monica says with a solemn smile.

______

A phone call rips Pena out of sleep in the middle of night. It’s Andrea. “Pelna I heard Mara’s been arrested? What happened?” Her voice grates through full of water.

 

Pelna rubs his face roughly. “I…I don’t know yet. I’m sorry.”

 

“How can you not know? She’s our teammate. She’s-”

 

His heart pangs cutting her off. “It’s over my head. But I promise, when I do find something out, I’ll tell you.”

 

Her “okay” comes out quiet and broken and then the line clicks off.

 

Pelna stares down long at the phone in his hand. He’s not really lying to Andrea he knows that, but he also is, by omission. She deserves to know more, but he can’t tell her now. Anger grips him sudden and tight. He can’t imagine, how she must feel even more frustrated and overwhelmed. Andrea doesn’t have all the pieces, but he knows what Mara means to her.

 

If it were the other way around, if it were Nyx, if it were… he stands up and stops himself from spiraling, finds his notebook and starts writing. He lists everything he needs to get done, what he wants to know, and keeps listing and listing till he’s sprawled on the floor and has pages on nonsensical ideas for sewing, and he feels less angry and reckless.

 

His exhale fills the quiet of the room and settles somewhere in the night with all the soft padded sounds outside. The chill nestled in the floor finally hits him and he finds his way back under his sheets. If only briefly, he feels more tethered and that pulls him back into sleep.

______

 

The Kingsglaive headquarters has a lot of information available to them. Most of the reports are accessible. It’s a good commendable habit to review old battles or at least that’s the excuse Pelna has prepared that’s bowing his tongue in his mouth.

 

He has a few screens pulled up, all slightly one shade of blue different in the order he’s pulled them up. Something about what happened bothers him, there has to be a pattern or goal or something that he can make sense of. There must be something more than the selfish raking of homes and blood into that metal maw of Niflheim. He’s never heard of such a direct attack on either of the royal families. Clearly, now that he’s had time to think about it, the initial attack on Tenebrae was just to get them inside those impervious mountains, and then allow Glauca to get close to the Queen. If the whole kingdom fell it would’ve been perfect. He rubs his eyes, trying to chase away that burning drying tiredness that’s cradling his lids.

 

“Ah, there you are Khara.” Comes Captain Drautos’ voice echoing around the space.

 

Pelna suppress a full body shiver and jumps up to salute. “Sir!” He didn’t make a damn sound Pelna realizes, not until he wanted to.

 

“At ease.”

 

“Sir.” And he drops his hand.

 

Titus approaches him with careful easy booming steps. “I did not congratulate you appropriately for your actions in Tenebrae.”

 

“Sir?”

 

Drautos offers him a rare wolfish smile and Pelna feels something sharp and waiting slip around his neck, just scraping and chilling. “You were instrumental in the Queen’s survival and recovery. Do not think that has gone unnoticed.”

 

The sharp waiting thing pinches into his skin because there is a deliberate weight to Titus’…Glauca’s words. “I was…it was just my duty, Sir.”

 

Drautos stands next to him and Pelna realizes he forgot to close out his research. “Oh? What’s this you’re reading?” He leans in a little to the screen and hums.

 

He chews the inside of his cheek watching Titus comb his eyes over all the reports. Up close he’s sure those are the same eyes. The same gaze cracked open from metal, wide with bloodlust, fury, and something Pelna knew and didn’t know all at once.

 

“This is an interesting assortment you have here.” He doesn’t turn to him just looks down to Pelna over to the side of his cheekbones, with his arms folded behind his back.

 

He says it before he can stop himself, before he can think of what exactly he’s saying. “Know thy enemy, right, Sir?” And Pelna knows it sounds like the challenge it is.

 

Glauca smiles at him, really smiles, all teeth and something very distant and shrill shining in his eyes. “Yes.” And he says it barely above a whisper, but it sinks the entire room. “I’ll leave you too it then.” And he is gone, just like that.

 

Pelna doesn’t dare to dash out, he doesn’t dare show he’s scared, but he also doesn’t stay more than ten minutes. He gathers all his things, checking that he has everything at least five times and then he walks, and keeps walking, till his legs solidify and burn instead of freeze.

______

It’s only the day after his conversation with Cap-Glauca, and his nerves haven’t edged out one bit. In fact he laid awake the whole night stubbornly keeping his eyes closed hoping sleep would take him. He thinks it’s just that he’s tired and that he’s seeing thing. Maybe it’s just the hem of his hood. But it’s when he turns another corner he confirms he’s being followed, they’re too green, too obvious, turning in haste to keep up with him.

 

He stops in front of a bakery and pretends to look for someone for a solid minute then he pulls out his phone to make a call. _‘Please pick up, please pick up.’_

 

“Hey Pelna, what’s up?” Nyx answers.

 

“OH! Don’t tell me you forgot?” Pelna says loud enough to for others to hear, hopefully he sounds just as mad as he’s pretending to be.

 

There’s silence and then. “What?”

 

“Oh you really did forget our date! You’ve got five minutes to get over here. Don’t even try to make up for it with a kiss!” And he hangs up and sends a text immediately after.

 

His fingers begin twitching as he tries to stave off the shaking. _“Felix’s Bakery, remember?”_ That’s information but also it convinces him a little and makes the lie real.

 

He sure he squeezes his phone hard enough to crack it as his thoughts stutter in urgency. _‘Please understand please understand please understand.’_

It shows Nyx reads it _. “I’ll be there in two.”_ He takes less than one.

 

Pelna sees him running up the street a very nice blue shirt Pelna has never seen before barely pulled all the way down. His coat wedged under his arm as his breath billows out behind him hitting the cold air.

 

“I’m so sorry Pelna, I got tied up. I should’ve called!” Nyx sprints over to Pelna and grabs him by the back of his neck to crush his lips against his. Pelna gets a nose full of crystalline smoke that tells him Nyx warped all the way here. It’s brief, the kiss. And in that briefness Pelna almost forgets he’s in danger, that he told Nyx to do this. It takes everything not to deepen it. Nyx pulls back but keeps their faces close to whisper to him. “I hope that’s what you meant. What’s going on?”

 

It takes Pelna a moment to catch his breath even though Nyx is the one actually out of breath. “I’m being followed let’s go inside.” He whispers back. They manage to get into a curved booth and sit close enough they can keep their faces from directly facing the front of the store. They hang their coats over the back of the booth.

 

They order food without thinking about it and Pelna leans in more. “Pretend we’re laughing.” He says through a forced smile and Nyx does, makes it good too. “Hope I didn’t pull you away from anything.”

 

Nyx throws an arm behind Pelna’s head. “No, but Libertus and Crowe might’ve heard.” And the blush creeping on his face is too honest.

 

Pelna manages not to say that it’s better they think they’re on a date for a cover, because Nyx’s smile and bright eyes are barely a lie.

 

“Who was it?” Nyx asks taking a drink of water.

 

“I think Silas, maybe, didn’t get the best look, but I just know they’re one of the newer recruits.”

 

“Is he being sloppy?” Nyx weighs that possibility not exactly asking Pelna.

 

Pelna chews his lip. “I think he wants me to know. To keep me on edge. I’m already thinking that there is someone even better on my tail, and that Silas is a cover.” His breath shallows and one of his hands grips Nyx’s knee.

 

“You think he’s going hurt you?” Leather squeaks as Nyx’s fingers dig into the seat.

 

Pelna cushions his head back against Nyx’s arm, because that’s comforting, and he desperately needs it before he starts shaking out of his skin. “That’s possible, but even if he doesn’t, he’s _watching_ , Nyx.”

 

And maybe his voice cracked or he said that too quietly because Nyx takes his chin and leans in like he means to kiss Pelna again, but he just presses his forehead to his and stares into his burning eyes. “I’ve got you, alright?”

 

That’s, too gentle, to earnest, too warm, too everything they can’t have right now. Pelna shuts his eyes tears pricking them, and he nods grinding his forehead against Nyx’s. Whoever sent Nyx to him, he’s so thankful, so, so thankful and he wishes he could shout that, but his throat tightens and he shoves his face into the crook of Nyx’s neck. He’s not sure if he cries or not but Nyx lets him stay there as long as he needs.

______

 

Nyx probably hates Titus’ office more than he used to now. The hate is no longer boyish and pouting, but electricity hot and crackling in his veins. All the red reminds him of blood, of lies, of his fallen comrades. But he tries, he tries desperately, he can’t be rash, even if that is Glauca hiding in plain sight. He’d be thrown into jail if not skewered. So he breathes even and calm, and thinks of the calming _“tuk tuk tuk”_ of Pelna’s sewing machine. How focused, steady, and determined it is. He can be like that.

 

“Ulric,” Captain Drautos begins “you really are something. I heard you fought General Glauca twice, and sent him running, twice.” He chuckles, the damn liar, the fucking traitor.

_‘Breathe, just breathe.’_ He let’s himself take pause before answering. “You flatter me, Sir.”

 

“Oh but it is commendable.” And Titus gives him a horribly charming smile.

 

“Thank you, Sir.”

 

“Of course.” And he gets up to walk around his desk.

 

“Is that all you wish to speak about, Sir? I do appreciate it, but I imagine there’s more.”

 

“Right you are.” And Titus clamps his hand down on Nyx’s shoulder. However chummy it looks, it feels like Nyx has been put in shackles. “I think it’s time we hone your skills.”

 

Everything prickles and the hair on the back of Nyx’s neck stands to attention. “Sir?”

 

“I want to train you, Ulric.” Titus’ eyes are, well they look kind, wise even. Strangely, now that Nyx has a different perspective, the eyes of a leader, eyes that have seen enough to make you believe in whatever his cause. And because he knows now, he can see the edge of indifference in them, the detached calculating part of him that would look to the path of a liar.

 

He feels his throat tightens. “I…”

 

“You have potential. You’re good, sure, but imagine what you could do if you were polished. You could do just about anything. And I mean anything. Save a village, a town. Maybe even end this war, take back your home, all on your own.” He laughs low and terrible.

 

Nyx knows it’s poison being dripped in his ear, and despite that, for a second he believes Titus, there will always be that small part that does. That’s the thing about poison though isn’t it? Doesn’t matter that he knows, if he willingly takes it, it has him. He just hopes in the end, whatever damage its done, that everyone else lives. “What would you have me do, Sir?”

 

Titus chuckles louder and pats his back hard enough to make his teeth chatter.

______

For the most part it really is just combat training. More underhanded and lethal, but that’s what Nyx expects from his Captain. He gets word to Pelna and Monica that it seems like Drautos trusts him or even if he’s toying with him he’s let him close enough.

  
Nyx considers himself stupid for forgetting that Otho is second to Titus for a reason, it’s not just seniority, he’s skilled. Otho is faster with the warp, so fast Nyx thinks he’s left a piece of himself somewhere else on the training ground. Nyx gets thrown on his back enough his bruises start cracking and bleeding.

 

And maybe it’s the bruises or the fact he was just punched in the face for the third time today, but he nearly jumps out of his skin when Mara’s name gets dropped. It’s only been a week and this is the first time they’ve even acknowledged her.

 

“You were under Kask’s command, right?” Otho asks wiping sweat from his brow.

 

“Yes, Sergeant Farkas.” Nyx isn’t sure what to make of Otho still. He assumes he’s on Glauca’s side, but he always remains so positively neutral, it’s hard to read him. Other’s pale skin is mottled red from their training, it sticks and bloom redder because of the cold.

 

“You are aware of her current situation, correct?” Unlike their captain he doesn’t keep his brown hair shorn, so he pulls it free of his hair tie and starts drying sweat from it.

 

“Yes.” Nyx finishes drying his own hair and starts fixing the end of his braid where it’s knotted itself.

 

“Maybe you can speak to her.” Titus says.

 

Nyx inspects his braid to mask his shock and hesitation. “I’m sorry? Sir?”

 

Titus crosses his arms. “She won’t talk, we’re hopeful she’ll open up to a subordinate like you.”

 

“If I may ask, Sir. What exactly is the circumstance concerning her arrest?”

 

Titus nods at Otho, and he hands Nyx a folder from his duffle bag. “As you will see detailed in this report, despite being given temporary leave in Cleigne, she was found weeks later in Niflheim. It is believed she was feeding them information.”

 

So that’s how they’re playing it. “And if I am unable to get any information from her?”

 

Titus just snorts. “Oh you will. I have no doubt.”

 

Nyx’s hand twitches looking for his kukri and he has to remind himself of Pelna’s face pushed into his neck, because he promised to be there for him, and this is a chance, he can do this. “Yes, sir.”

______

 

The prison compound is sterile and miserable. It’s what he expected, but then the buzz of the fluorescent lights flickering on the gray walls set him on edge.

 

They put Mara in an interrogation room cuffed to a table. Nyx almost turns on his heel seeing her. She looks…her skin is sickly pale, she’s gaunt, her short red hair is matted. The handcuffs barely look like they can hold her bony thinned wrists.

 

“So,” and her voice is grated and hoarse, she takes painfully long breaths, “they finally sent…you.” Her brown eyes are half lidded tinged with red, and puffy where they sit in her face.

 

Nyx sits down carefully and folds his hands loosely on the table. “Did you, did you ask for me?”

 

She grins, and there’s something off about her teeth, like they’re misshapen since the last time he saw her. “You…” and she breathes in then out, “and Pelna … every single day.”

 

“What happened Mara?”

 

“What…do they say …happened?”

 

“That you committed treason, gave intelligence to Niflheim.”

 

She shrugs but stops grinning. “Then…that’s what…happened…”

 

“I was sent to get you to talk.”

 

“I’m talking…”

 

It’s a long drawn out moment of him staring at her and her staring back. He knows King Regis has taken back his magic from her, warping her out of here would be hard. Something, anything, he must try.

 

Nyx licks his lips a thought forming. “Andrea really misses you, I saw all the flowers you sent.”

 

She cocks her head. “Did you see…the card…with the gray cat?”

 

There wasn’t one, but he knows about a gray cat. “Yes. She had me read that one to her.” It took a few days but Monica explained the letters to them. There was intel about roaming MTs, newer abominations the Nifs were working on, hints at Titus’ treachery. Sitting here knowing the truth and Nyx just wants to break her restraints and run. He wants to do so much, so much of everything, but gray walls and a closed door stop him from leaping.

 

“Nyx…” and she leans in close across the table, “this is all I have to say, so, I’m sorry.”

 

“Wh-”

 

And Mara whips to the side and wretches. Vomit splashes out to the floor. The putrid unsettling smell hits his nose. Nyx jumps up and two guards come in muttering “not again” and uncuff her from the table as she throws up yellow-green stomach acid. Nyx picks her up after she tumbles into her own sick, palms first. She faces him and presses her messy hands to his chest and drags down, and he feels something small and hard slip into his front pocket. “I can finally stop fucking doing that.” She mumbles into his chest. Then the guards take her away. Slimy spit and sick trailing her as they drag her out.

 

He’s directed to a bathroom to wash up.

 

 

It feels like he’s under spotlight washing away everything in the sink. He scrubs his hands red and raw to center himself, because less of the mess is there and he needs to pretend that’s why his hands shake. To all the Astrals he prays that no one notices he fishes something out of his front pocket with a damp paper towel. It’s smallish and white and shaped like a pill, and tucking it under his glove he feels that it’s some coarse fabric. He gets most of the vomit off, the stink of it though has already sunken deep into the fabric, so throws his jacket over his shoulder and leaves.

______

He can’ t breathe. He doesn’t think he’s breathing. His lungs burn, his eyes water as he stifles choking coughs, but he keeps moving so he doesn’t feel dizzy. Nyx just feels, he feels, anger, white hot stabbing into his chest and running sharp through his whole body. He’s not sure if he warps or not but he has that rushing floating feeling as his feet stop at Pelna’s door.

______

 

Pelna is half asleep over some sewing patterns when the knock jolts him awake.

 

“Get this to Monica.” Nyx says without letting Pelna say hello shoving something small and white into his hand. “I’m going to go fucking kill him.”

 

Pelna doesn’t even ask why or who he just grabs Nyx’s wrist before he can turn out of the doorway. He spins him around into his flat so he can block Nyx from the exit, his damp soiled jacket tumbles to the floor beside him. “Nyx wait, you know you can’t do that, not now.”

 

“She is _dying_ in there Pelna!” And his shout shakes the whole room. His eyes are distant stormy and wild and he trembles with anger. He doesn’t look at Pelna, he just burns his glare into the door, like Titus is just on the other side awaiting his ire.

 

“Nyx, look at me.” He doesn’t.

 

“Nyx, please, look at me.” He still doesn’t. So Pelna grabs his whole face and makes him look. “Nyx…” And that last plea is small and desperate enough.

 

Nyx’s blue eyes might as well be a storm cloud. Pelna swears he feels lightning spark and lash out when he looks at him. He puts his hands against Nyx’s chest and pushes, and pushes till Nyx’s feet start moving back and he shoves him into the couch keeping his eyes locked with his.

 

“Nyx…” He begs softly.

 

“She gave me that b-b-by…by puking. They said she’s been vomiting every day!” He nearly jumps up but Pelna keeps him in the couch with his weight.

 

Nyx’s chest heaves. “Can you imagine that? Vomiting and swallowing whatever that is over and _over_ , just to keep it from them! Just in case either you or me finally went to see her!” Nyx shuts his eyes. “She is suffering, Pelna, and _he’s_ done that to her!” Bitter bile swells in his words. He is a tight seething line of rage shaking so hard Pelna’s arms shake trying to hold him all together.

 

“Yes,” Pelna starts softly, “but you cannot go for him now. They will just do the same to you.” He stops himself from imagining, because they’d probably do worse to Nyx.

 

Nyx opens his eyes at that and looks at Pelna with a sad softness taking over his gaze.

 

Pelna kneels down slowly to the floor taking him down by his face so that Nyx has to lean down. He takes the capsule in one hand and shows it to Nyx. “She trusts you, Nyx. She knows you will do right by her.”

 

“But how long do we just let her rot in there?”

 

Pelna tries not to frown. “I don’t know, but she won’t die in there, we’ll make sure of that.”

 

Nyx leans forward, a little too heavily bumping his forehead into Pelna’s, but he leaves it there. Pelna moves the hand from his face around the back of his neck to hug him, and Nyx pulls him in tightly under his arms.

 

Pelna wedges the hand holding the capsule between them and presses it against Nyx’s chest, just over his heart. He feels the rapid pace, fluttering in between anger and calm. “You cannot throw yourself to them, alright?”

 

“Yeah.” And Nyx’s eyes look ashamed. He’s promised to Pelna, so many times, to be there for him, with him, and he almost broke that promise. Pelna’s eyes are just wide and scared and that wrenches in his heart, he never wants to see that look again. His mouth trembles he wants to beg forgiveness for ever making Pelna look at him like that. “I won’t. I promise.” He’s never actually said he promises, but Ramuh strike him now if he doesn’t mean it.

 

Pelna wants to kiss him again, let him know it’s okay. That he understands. But he doesn’t, because that earlier kiss was to hide from danger, but they are safe in this room. So he let’s Nyx hug him tight, till he’s sure his own ribs are bruised and Nyx finally stops shaking.

 

They will help Mara, and they will stop Glauca. That is the silent desperate promise that sits on the back of his tongue. Somehow Nyx hears it, understands it looking back into his brown eyes, and he nods resolute his blue eyes seem sure of it. They will, they know it.


	7. Play Nice

Titus keeps Nyx in a tight hold, forcing his arms high and looped through his, with solid pressure at the base of his skull. Nyx feels his eyes cross and his sees his vision blur, he’s struggling to slip his arms out, to find purchase with his feet on the ground.

 

It’s almost nauseating when the praise cuts his concentration and worms into his ear. “You did well with Kask, Ulric. There was some insightful information on the drive.”

 

Nyx says nothing and inhales deeply. He can’t stop overthinking how to get out, so everything is rigid, and every logical option shows before he can take it, each time Titus managing to constrict his arms and throw him off kilter.

 

He gives and goes lax. He doesn’t dare speak to say he does because the truth of everything else smothers his tongue. The drive is a fake or what’s on it is, quickly altered before he delivered it to Titus. Mara was certain he or Pelna would get to her, it was all there, the fakes for Titus and encrypted information for Monica.

 

It almost takes a minute but finally Captain Drautos lets him go, gives him enough room just in case it is a trick, but Nyx lets himself plop to the ground.

 

“Where’s the fire today?” Titus asks rotating his shoulders as he watches Nyx.

 

Nyx stretches up and snatches his towel off the bench to try and obscure most of his face. “I’m still processing that Mara … that she’s a traitor.” Hopefully he doesn’t have to pretend he really thinks that for too long he’s scared he might actually start believing that lie if he does.

 

Titus hums, trying to sound thoughtful, but Nyx can hear the empty hollowness in the base of it. “I understand, but it comes with the territory.”

 

Nyx covers his face once more and exhales, and then he drops down onto the bench. He doesn’t think he can stand and keep playing this game, not today. Sitting down keeps him solid enough to try however. “Have you ever dealt with a traitor before, Sir?” He looks up to the liar, not sure if he’s waiting to see the façade crack or something else, but he has manners enough to look him in the eye for this.

 

He sees Titus’ eyes go distant and steely for a moment, and then they ease back into that cynical thing that pretends to be honorable. He’s sure Titus squeezes out a chuckle.

 

“Never did catch the bastard.” And he full on smiles at Nyx all toothy and ready to snap.

 

He schools himself from balling his hands into fists, from even thinking of calling his weapon. “What happened, Sir?”

 

Titus hums. “Oh it was so long ago. Amazing lies were told. My own personal world ended twice because of it. They evaded my grasp without falter.” The laugh he lets out is strangely indulgent, like he was victorious regardless.

 

“Where are they now?”

 

“Believe it or not, just out of reach.”

 

Cold sweat breaks on the back of his neck. “What would you do if you caught them?”

 

Titus stops smiling. “What the Captain of the Kingsglaive would, what I should, what I’m best at.”

 

That’s definitely nauseating, Nyx feels his stomach churn and a sharp sick feeling slithers up onto his palate sour and burning. Nyx isn’t worried that it’s him that Titus wants to kill, no he’s ready for that, whenever this game ends. A lapse in nausea and he knows he isn’t worried for Pelna either, not for this, the grudge is deep and festering and older than the Kingsglaive, they’ll soon receive his ire, but he fears Titus will take revenge before then. He worries that it’s a very short list, and that if Titus gets his way, it will ruin them all.

______

 

If Luche weren’t so much greener than Pelna. If it weren’t for the threat looming over his head. If it weren’t for the sudden way Luche’s blows seem edged and sharp. If it weren’t for all that, Pelna wouldn’t have noticed how personal it all seems.

 

Now and again they spar, but it has never been so explosive.

 

Pelna catches him by the arm and uses the warp and their momentum to throw him down to get him farther away. Luche slams down into the ground with a crack. He doesn’t stay down long and cuts up through the air back to Pelna a fire spell already a glove around his fist. He expects something like that and he raises a shield to meet it.

 

He pulls his kukri from its sheath and knocks away Luche’s. It’s enough to get him distracted he realizes and Luche flashes out of sight.

 

Thunder claps.

 

Dust and rock shatter and plume behind Pelna and the world slows. He can see the outline where lightning bolted from Luche’s leg and split the rock, a withering tree in the rubble. He doesn’t mean to but he thinks of ice and fire, and they combine into one trembling palm, his instinct screaming at him that he needs to stop Luche. Then they’re told to stop the command popping the world back to its normal speed, and Pelna has to shoot the spell off away from them. The small storm it is leaving his arm in limp static.

 

Luche walks past him not sparing him a glance. Sure he’s a temperamental ass, but he cares about his fellow Glaives enough to try and apologize or just say anything ... anything at all. Pelna would even take a snide remark. But he goes to stand near their Captain getting the barest of nods from Drautos.

 

And Pelna, taking another moment to look at the small disaster that just flew through their training grounds, realizes that this was personal.

______

“Today was…” Pelna starts as they walk to Yamachang’s, his hands stuffed deep into his pockets.

 

“…yeah…I…” Everything that’s happened suddenly dawning on them.

 

Pelna sighs. “Is it too late to ask you again, if you still want to do this?”

 

Nyx laughs. “Way too late, but…” And he stops midway down the steps that lead to Yamachang’s. Pelna stops at the top to look down at him. “Even if by force, you couldn’t make me abandon this… you.”

 

Pelna smiles, it’s tired but warm enough to touch his eyes.

 

Nyx watches him think and chew at his lip, it’s clear he wants to say something, but whatever it is gets cut by Crowe calling out to them.

 

“Hey lovebirds you’re blocking the way! Come join us already!” They’re not actually in the way, it’s too late for anyone but a bunch of tired hungry soldiers to be trickling in. They oblige anyways, hurrying down the metal steps to join Libertus and Crowe.

______

It’s when Crowe and Pelna go up to get their orders that Nyx finds himself watching, and wanting again. Unwinding always seems to do that. It’s nice though, but he’s probably making that dopey adoring face Lib hates because he jabs him in the ribs.

 

“Don’t break his heart, Nyx!” He hisses low.

 

“W-what?” Nyx stammers out.

 

“He’s a real sweet guy.” Libertus says that as seriously as he can fighting the soft smile trying take over his face.

 

It takes a while, but oh right, the phone call they heard the other day. “Yeah, but aren’t I always the one getting my heart broken?”

 

“Yeah but you’re used to it.” He pats his shoulder.

 

“Thanks for your concern, Lib.” Nyx eyes Libertus, if they weren’t long time friends he’d be genuinely insulted. Although, it’s for Pelna’s sake, and they actually believe he’d be that lucky, so he huffs out a laugh instead.

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him sad,” Libertus looks to where Crowe is practically crushing Pelna in her arms smiling wildly at him for whatever she’s said, “mad sure, I can understand mad, but actually being sad, heartbroken even. You’d really have to be some horrible bastard to do that.” He shakes his head.

 

Nyx is inclined to agree. Despite the kind brave man he is or maybe it’s because of it, Pelna has a fragile heart, it’s been damaged before. How many times? He’s not sure. From what Pelna has allowed him to see it’s terribly close to shattering.

 

“I won’t.” Nyx promises aloud. “You won’t ever have to worry about that.” And for some reason, in this instant, admitting a lot in only so many words, despite making a promise he’s made many times over, he feels the fear of being unable to keep true to his words stir up around him.

 

Libertus slaps his back hard and loud, because he sees it lining his eyes, he knows Nyx, and he trusts him more than Nyx thinks he’s capable of. He holds Nyx’s stare giving him a long serious look. He doesn’t even have the decency to stop when Pelna and Crowe return with the food. A rich spicy soup made with game meat only made redder when everyone, except Nyx, adds more chopped chilies to it. Lib raises his bowl to his mouth and drinks, staring down at him over the lip of the bowl.

 

Why’s he being threatened again? He begins to wonder but then something Crowe says makes Pelna chuckle sweet and low into his palm, and yeah okay he’d say the same if it were the other way around, he appreciates their protectiveness. Pelna is loveable. He always tries to be kind, he’s smart without being an ass about it. He gets it. It’s just … he stirs his soup disturbing the film of fat cooling on the surface, suddenly not interested in eating. It’s just not real, is it? Whatever they think is happening, it’s just a cover.

 

It’s horribly sobering, because then he remembers they’re all vulnerable. He tries desperately not to sink into his food and looks up to the rest of them, mostly at Pelna. How does he… how does he handle this? How did he handle this when it was just the quiet haunting thought in the middle of the night? And now that it’s all piecing together, likely to confirm the fears they have, and the fears they never wanted to know? How-

 

And Libertus doesn’t elbow him this time just throws an arm around him and squeezes. It stops the panic he was radiating, but it’s not what Lib thinks, and that edges him back to panicking.

 

“You alright Nyx?” Pelna asks. Him and Crowe stopping their conversation to look at him with concern.

 

 

He blinks. Oh. OH! _This_ is it though. He’s used to not really thinking before acting, but Pelna always does, and it’s not because he isn’t frayed on the inside. It’s not that thinking hasn’t pulled him deep into the muck, it’s just thinking reminds him _why_ it’s worth acting.

 

He exhales and Lib releases him.

 

“Yeah…just thinking.” Tension dissipates. Pelna nods. Crowe snorts. Libertus pats his back. And Nyx wants to laugh, even if Pelna is closer to the truth, they’re all thinking of something different.

 

Nyx resolves to eat.

______

 

Pelna stares down at his boots now that he’s taken them off. He should polish them he thinks. But movement doesn’t come to him. So he keeps staring. Time stretches, he can feel it all shift around him, and he wants to shine his shoes, but he just…

 

It all keeps flashing in his mind. In the drive all the files, he caught glimpses as he helped Nyx copy files and do what Mara outlined. He couldn’t get a good look and read anything for sure, but just skimming and they have to be close now. Truth must be just out of reach and it makes weakness rattle in his knees as he thinks to command them.

 

Pelna can’t find it in himself to stand. Not even to try. He’s exhausted.

 

He glances at his phone a whole hour has managed to pass. The sun has long since set and through his window he can see the streetlights yellow and small have taken its place. Still he does not get up to do what he’s set out for himself.

 

The phone chimes and breaks his waking slumber.

 

It’s from Monica _‘Shipment at 8.’_

 

 

______

Pelna finds himself at the warehouse right on the dot, normally he’s early, but it took a while to shake off whatever seized him in that moment of silence. He hasn’t called Nyx.

 

Monica hands him a box and he admits he’s surprised, its full of actual supplies. Fabric mostly, but in other boxes different things needed for making clothes.

 

“What…what’s this all about?” He asks slowing peeling open the boxes to make sure he’s seeing things right, another box full of thread and cloth.

 

“You have a charity to maintain, Mr.Khara.” She drops a clipboard in front of him.

 

“But…what about-”

 

“We’re still working on that. Mara was both equal parts clever and careful.”

 

Pelna stares at her for a moment, he’s not sure how to process this. But then again he’s just not sure how to process this day.

 

Monica seems to notice he’s not exactly himself. His eyes are not as bright and quick as they usually are, he needs prompting. “You’ve been keeping tabs on your Captain as well as the other Glaives, correct?”

 

He almost winces the fog clearing from his mind. “Yes, perhaps not as closely to my fellow Glaives as I should’ve, but due to the recent tailing, and earlier today. I suspect he has a much tighter hold than I realized. Though, I do not think they know the whole truth yet, if he’s even managed to convince them of that part. Whatever his means, be it fear or praise, some of them would surely kill another Glaive if he commanded them to.”

 

“Do you have names?” She doesn’t ask him in any particular tone, but.

 

“I want to make sure first. Just give me some time. I want to confirm I’m not just paranoid.”

 

“You really think at this point you could be?”

 

He bites the inside of his cheek. “What was it like, your first time doing something like this?”

 

Monica smiles softly with a sagely nod, understanding .“It was horrifying. But I’ve done it many times over now, perhaps not on the same level. No one I brought in threatened to collapse an entire faction.” She takes a seat on one of the boxes and looks up at him.

 

He sits down on one across from her. “Don’t you ever worry you could be wrong? That all the work you’ve done was just you making whatever you found fit to prove you were right?”

 

“Every single time.” Her voice cracks. “The feeling never goes away, and honestly I don’t think it should. It will help you to remember to be more objective. Keep your conscience with you Pelna, it’s a powerful asset that very few nourish or understand.”

 

He nods. It helps to have people to talk to, to have fresh eyes, but it helps most to never stop questioning he realizes. Just as he started, he has to keep doing that.

______

“Well, Luche is a brat ” Nyx concedes plopping himself on the edge of his bed. Pelna does feel a twinge of guilt disturbing his sleep once again.

 

“I have to watch him though, make sure.” Pelna stands in the middle of the floor not really feeling comfortable to sit. His toes curl in his socks feeling the grooves in the floorboard. He means to leave soon, he only wanted to update Nyx on the state of things.

 

“Well considering how training went earlier, wouldn’t fault you to maybe squeeze him for the truth.”

 

Pelna shakes his head. “That is neither my nor your style.”

 

Nyx shrugs. “Maybe not, but…”

 

Pelna shakes his head again with more force.

 

“Fine, fine. But what is our style?”

 

“Well we still have different styles. I’m sure you could talk someone like Luche into telling you.”

 

“Are you saying I’m annoying?” Nyx asks amused.

 

“Maybe to someone like Luche, but to others you’re persuasive, charming even.”

 

A small bashful smile wavers on his face and he looks down away from Pelna.

 

Pelna rocks on his feet heels to toes. “Listen, I’ll get going. I just wanted to keep you informed. I’ll have a plan by the morning.”

 

“Why don’t you stay the night?”

 

Nyx’s question halts him in a half turn.

 

“I-I mean” Nyx stammers the implication dawning on him. “It’s already after midnight, and you’ll get home around one. You can just rest up here.”

 

Pelna chews on his lip staring at the door. Eyes following to where his shoes rest by the doormat.

 

“It is late…” He mumbles out.

 

He hears the bed squeak behind him. He looks back and Nyx is standing gesturing towards it.

 

Pelna shifts off his coat. “I’ll just take your recliner this time.”

“You’ll be cold.” Nyx hums.

 

It takes more coaxing but Pelna finds himself back to back with Nyx, snug and warm.

Nyx’s back is solid and calming, his breathing steady, sleep takes Pelna softly.

______

Nyx sleeps well he realizes, well enough that he wakes before his alarm and he doesn’t feel the need to tuck himself back into bed. The smell of rain mixed with snow seeps in through the window frame. Sleet is awful to walk through he muses but it won’t be that awful, not today.

 

It’s strange to watch Pelna in this way. He sees only the back of his head. Hair tussled by sleep covers most of his neck, the rest hidden by the sheets. Nyx bites the inside of his cheek, he wants to know his sleeping face. But he’d have to move and that would disturb Pelna and wake him. How dark are his lashes pressed together in sleep? Does he have little imprints from the folds of the pillowcase? Is he drooling? Nyx catches the laugh he almost lets out. It’s small and wavering, but he hopes, that there will be another time. So he waits in the warmth of these sheets, of Pelna, till the alarm sounds off and he gets ready for the day.

______

Everyone flitters around warming up for training. The sleet didn’t last long and the ground isn’t too icy and wet.

 

 _‘Do you see him?’_ Pelna thinks, he wants to say it but instead he just gives Nyx a look where they stand in the training grounds.

 

Nyx seems to understand regardless and nods.

 

Luche is circling like a shark. Well just Pelna, at least. It was a nice morning till now. The heat of the morning coffee they shared suddenly chilled and heavy in his gut. Frost billows out as he sighs. He looks around and counts. There are three more Glaives watching him, one he realizes is Tredd, but Luche is being the most intense.

 

Captain Drautos isn’t even here yet, but they’re already doing this.

 

Pelna pulls Nyx closer by his elbow and whispers. “I’m going to confront him. Clearly I don’t need to watch them like I planned.”

 

“Are you sure?” Nyx whispers back leaning down close so Pelna doesn’t have to keep tipping up.

 

“Yeah. I need to see what he knows since he’s so stupidly obvious. Watch my back?”

 

Nyx can’t help but smile. “Always.”

 

Pelna takes a moment, his brown eyes bright, and a touch wild. “I’m going to kiss your cheek, so you know…appearances and all” And he does quick enough Nyx is almost unsure it happens, but it spreads burning heat to the rest of his face. Whistles and stray cheers break out and Pelna runs off.

 

No time to swoon, he rights himself ignoring the airy tingling in his feet and quickly gets eyes on the other’s. He calls to Libertus and Crowe. He throws his arms over their shoulders. “How about we have some fun and switch up sparring partners?” He nods over to where he spots Tredd.

 

“Oh a big shot now that the Captain has been training you giving us orders and everything.” Crowe laughs out.

 

“How is that any different from before?” Nyx singsongs with a playful roll of his eyes.

 

“Who do you want me on?” Lib cracks his knuckles.

 

Tredd obliges to spar with Crowe, maybe wanting to make up for the last time she threw him around.

 

Libertus manages to convince Sonitus’ they’ll both finally be able to complete a full drill.

 

It was harder to spot Axis, he managed to slip close to Luche. He just nods. Nyx knows he’ll have to be fast. He can’t say anything he just has to keep them from ganging up on Pelna.

 

______

Everything around Pelna blurs, black and silver twisting and bending as he warps. _‘We shouldn’t be in here.’_ He thinks belatedly throwing his blade to warp to Luche. They should never ever be in here during training. How strange it is they don’t practice the warp indoors. Straight hallways, pillars, doorways left ajar. Just curve the blade right and he’ll fit.

 

He clatters into an upturned table, sparks of the warp hitting the surface with him. Then again…

 

A blade whizzes by over his head and Luche warps back out the room they just entered. Pelna heaves. What’s his game? Why egg him on into a spar and then suddenly pull out his kukris only to break off into a game of tag. He scans the room and then runs out, he can think on his feet.

 

There’s the indoor gym, the canteen, Titus’ office , and two break rooms, two shower rooms, and command. Everything else is just big, and open, and empty.

 

 _‘Does he want to get me in trouble? Mess it up and blame it on me? No. There hasn’t been any damage.’_ He follows the faint smoky smell of Luche’s warp.

 

His boot squeaks as he turns heel to back himself back around the corner he almost turned as a ball of fire hurtles at him. It dissipates before it can hit he end of the hallway.

 

“Whoops. You spooked me there, Khara.” Luche calls out a snicker just on the end of his words.

 

 _‘Maybe he wants it too look like an accident?’_ Pelna rolls his eyes. That’s probably it. He knew it was a trap and he stepped in it anyways. He starts knitting a shield around himself and jumps out. Fire flares against him in an instant.

 

Luche keeps up the onslaught till the shield starts to crack.

 

Pelna finds what he wants in their armory and throws it just as his shield breaks. He ducks as soon as the training knife wooden and small leaves his hand.

Luche hisses and stops his casting. Pelna bolts up and runs for him. He’s distracted with where the dummy knife hit the nerve in his shoulder, so Pelna takes the opening and socks him in his cheek. Momentum taking them both down to the ground.

 

Luche is quick enough to bring out more blades, but slowed enough by pain that Pelna disarms him. He throws a punch with his good arm rattling Pelna’s jaw, but he’s left open by the shakiness of the other and gets a matching one.

 

Back, forth, left, right. They roll, fists left, right, they roll again. The punches finally cease when Pelna locks Luche’s jolted arm in one hand and puts pressure on the other.

 

Luche snarls trying to throw Pelna off of him.

 

“Give up.” Pelna chokes copper sitting on his tongue, his lungs burning.

 

“No.” Luche hisses.

 

Pelna applies more pressure. “Give.”

 

“Why would I concede to you?” He grates out.

 

“What have you been told?”

 

Luche tries again but just causes himself more pain. His feet can’t find purchase. He grunts frustration.

 

Pelna feels unease in his gut and releases his arms and gets off slowly, wary of any sudden movements, of any magic sparking in the air. “Why are you doing this?”

 

“I didn’t give.” Luche spits trying to make it not sound like he’s pouting.

 

“Not my style.” Pelna gives them some distance. If Luche runs, if he tries something, he’s ready. If he has to, if he absolutely has to, he will.

 

Luche gets up slowly, his arms shaky and his breath still laborious. He looks at Pelna, blonde hair plastered with sweat, his face red and scowling. “You should kill me.”

 

“I should?”

 

“I’ll tell them otherwise.” Luche’s expression doesn’t change, he doesn’t look panicked or wary, his eyes are gauging him instead.

 

“Tell them what?”

 

“That you’re a traitor.”

 

Pelna lets his arms relax at his side. “A traitor to whom?”

 

Luche’s eyes flick down taking note. “To Lucis, to the Kingsglaive, Galahd, us.”

 

“Bold accusation. Who told you that?”

 

Luche looks around for a moment. “Who else?”

 

Pelna smiles and shrugs. “Then tell them.”

 

“How much do you know, Khara?” Luche steps forward slowly and then stops.

 

“More than I want to.”

 

“So then who’s right?”

 

Pelna sighs. They’re both young, but damn, Luche is really young. “It’s war, Lazarus. It’s not that clean cut.”

 

Luche pushes his hair back out of his face, his eyes searching for something in Pelna’s. “Who do I trust?” He can't stop the tremble in his voice.

 

“Who earned it?”

 

“My fellow Glaives.” That includes Pelna he realizes and the thought almost makes him shake. Pelna is honest, but then he’s not, but then he’s not trying to hide that either. Pelna stands open. And it’s funny, he kind of gets it, that thing about him that’s so fundamentally good. Luche wants to be good, and know that he is, not be told that he is.

 

“Did _he_?” Pelna asks.

 

“I don’t know if he did or if he … tricked me.” He stops looking at Pelna and starts looking around the hall.

 

“Meet with me later?” Pelna shoves his hands in his pockets.

 

“Alright. Where?”

 

“South docks near where we handed out the clothes.” Pelna already starts walking away, doing an honestly stupid thing showing his back.

 

“Sure.” He calls out.

 

By the time he gets back to the courtyard the sparring is still going on, and he’s not the only one sporting a bruise or two or five.

 ______

At lunch Nyx dotes on him even holds an ice pack to the bruise under his jaw with one hand, and eats a sandwich with the other. Crowe is at another table lording another victory over Tredd. Libertus sits near her keeping the peace with his presence, mostly.

 

Pelna frowns at his cup of tea, he didn’t notice he bit his tongue during the fight till he tried to drink it.

 

“Hey Nyx?” He begins picking at some of the canned peaches in Nyx’s fruit salad.

 

“Hm?” Nyx hums adjusting the pack as Pelna turns his head to him.

 

“You ever find that cat down by the docks?” He only chews a short moment and swallows the fruit.

 

It takes a moment to click. “No it’s been a while. I have feeling though, if I go today I might find it holed away somewhere.”

 

“I got the same feeling. Need some help later?”

 

Nyx smiles. “As long as you have the time.”

 

Pelna smiles with his eyes, his mouth twitching trying not to actually smile.“For you? Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been a while ~ now back to your regularly scheduled pining fluff and espionage
> 
> remember I crosspost on tumblr, feel free to just say hi~ [ scrawlingcomet ](https://scrawlingcomet.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading~ Would love to hear your thoughts.  
> I don't...I'm always jumping onto a rarepair ship...I don't know why . I was minding my business and I realized the potential for this ship so here we go.
> 
> Feel free to stop by my tumblr where I also crosspost @ [ scrawlingcomet ](https://scrawlingcomet.tumblr.com/l)


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